Sunday, July 18, 2010
Orange Part 4
I'd say that was a mistake, if it had not worked exactly how I wanted it to.
My mother gave me a veritable mountain of chores. I miraculously finished them just a little after three.
Rick came in as I was vacuuming.
"You ready?" Rick asked, still in his work clothes.
"Not exactly, I gotta get some stuff from my room. I'll meet you at your house OK?" I shouted over the screaming vacuum.
"That's fine, I should probably change out of my work clothes anyway." Rick said.
I grabbed a change of clothes, a pillow, my backpack, a flashlight and lighter. I had no idea what our 'adventure' entailed, hence the flashlight and lighter.
Eager to find out what was going on I bolted out the door and in to Rick's house.
When I entered, Rick was nearly ready to go. He seemed to be searching around for something.
"What are you looking for?" I asked.
"A flashlight" Rick answered.
"Already got one, I figured it would be useful" I said.
"Perfect! Let's go then" Rick said, grabbing my hand.
"But where the hell are we going?" I asked.
"Some place only stupid teenagers would go" Rick said smirking.
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" was all I said before I decided to just go with the flow and not question Rick.
After jogging for about 5 minutes behind Rick we arrived at a very old, large, and decrepit building.
"Riiiiiiiiiick. I do not like where this adventure is going, more specifically I do not like the looks of that building. What is- what was it?" I said stopping in my tracks thinking that maybe I did not like where the flow was going.
"Well it used to an old insane asylum, like one of those buildings where they'd do 'experiments', if you follow." Rick said getting an odd look of wonder in his eyes.
"Yeah I do, why would you want to go in there?" I asked.
"Adventure my friend, adventure. I hear it's crazy haunted. Don't worry though, it's probably just urban legend or whatever" Rick said with a playful grin.
"I'd rather not take my chances" I said.
"Oh come on Tom, what are you, chicken?" Rick said jokingly.
I wanted to say something along the lines of "what are we five? You gonna triple dog dare me next?", but like the legendary Marty McFly, I felt the need to prove that I in fact was NOT a chicken.
"Fine" I said as I took a couple steps towards the building.
I let Rick be the first to enter the creepy building, I turned on my mammoth of a flashlight and tip-toed in behind him.
"This place is awesome!" Rick shouted.
"Yeah that's a word for it..." I mumbled.
I took a look around with my flashlight and immediately wished I hadn't, the interior of the building looked exactly like a B horror movie set. I was convinced something with a hideous face that wanted to eat my soul was going to pop out any second. All of a sudden, I heard something moving and I stopped in my tracks.
"Rick, did you hear that?" I asked, grabbing my flashlight as if it were my first born child.
"Hear what?" He asked.
"That sound, it sounded like-" was all I could get out before a large something came down on my head. Everything went black.
Next thing I knew I was looking up at an orange sky and at Rick. I had the start of a very large bump on my head.
"Thank god, I thought you were dead or something..." Rick said, rubbing his eyes, they were a little red and his face seemed to be lined with worry and shining tracks. I was too confused at the moment to realize what he had been doing while everything had been black.
"What. The hell. Happened " I asked, thoroughly confused.
"Ummm, from what I can tell a piece of the ceiling fell on your head. Maybe it was loosened by something scurrying around up there...but whatever...just happy you're OK" Rick said with a sniffle.
"Rick, are you OK?" I asked. Now that I had really come to, I was pretty sure Rick had been crying. Scratch that, I knew Rick had been crying; it was quite obvious.
"Yeah, I'm fine the dust just got me is all, allergies, you know" Rick said. Something in the back of my head told me otherwise, but I did not press, maybe it really just had been allergies. I always looked a mess when mine acted up.
"OK. Hmmmm well since our 'adventure' sort of literally fell through, what do you say we scare ourselves silly a different way?" I asked, trying to cheer Rick up a little. He looked like a kicked puppy, and no one likes wounded baby animals.
"Oh?" Rick responded, immediately perking up a little.
"How about I go grab a couple of horror flicks from my house, we make some popcorn, and scream like little girls until we fall asleep. That sound good to you?" I asked while lightly touching the bump on my head. It was not as large as it felt, but it hurt twice as much as I thought it would.
"I'd like that" Rick said with a smile. Then I smiled. That kid's smile is 100 percent infectious.
So we went quickly to my house and away from that. I told my mom I was sleeping over at Rick's. She gave me a face that said "well, I'd hoped you stay for dinner, but fine" as she nodded her head. I grabbed 'Stephen King's IT' and Pet Cemetery. Two of the most ridiculously scary Stephen King movies by far in my opinion.
This was saying a lot, because I can fall asleep while watching most horror movies.
As I perused through our collection of horror movies Rick chuckled a little and said, "It's funny how you have an entire library of horror movies and you were scared to go in some silly old building"
"Aaaah but that is exactly why I didn't want to go in to the building, I've seen several different groups of teenagers meet their untimely death by doing exactly what we did. Getting torn apart by some maniac left in the building or having my soul stolen by an ancient evil is NOT how I plan to go" I said with a stony expression on my face. When it came to my paranoia spurred by my vast horror knowledge, I was dead serious. Pun intended.
"Oh, well I'll be sure to not doubt you in the future. I also hope to not die a gruesome death plotted by a nasty screenwriter" Rick chuckled. I just chuckled back as we left the room.
"Oooooh good choices" both my mom and dad said as they noticed the two movies I had in my hand as Rick and I headed for the door. I got my morbid fascination for horror from them.
"Oh mom, Dad, do we have any popcorn?"
"Yeah honey, it's in the cupboard to the left of the sink" my mom said as she pointed to the cupboard.
I grabbed it, gave my mom and dad both hugs, and Rick and I left. As Rick I walked back to his house I noticed the moon. Big, bright, and orange, it looked like a a giant glowing pumpkin in the sky.
"The moon's beautiful tonight" Rick said. As I looked up at the moon I caught him staring at me a couple of times. I did not think much of it, but I saw something familiar in the way he looked at me. I could think of what exactly it was, but I knew it looked familiar. I tried not to think too much of it as we went in to his house.
"Pop one of the movies in and I'll start the popcorn" I said as I did just so. Rick chose IT and a smile creeped on to my face. It was the longer of the two movies, but also the better of the two movies in my opinion.
Ricks smiled back at me and gave me that look again. I stared at the popcorn in the microwave and tried to think of where I had seen that look.
My eyes widened as I realized why that look was familiar. I say familiar because I realize that I had not actually seen that look, I had had that look on my face before. It was the look I got on my face when I looked at Elena and I first had my crush on her.
Did Rick like me like that? Did I give off a vibe that I liked guys? Did I give off a vibe that I liked Rick more than as a friend?
BEEP BEEP
The microwave broke what could have been an endless chain of panicked questions. I calmed down and realized I was probably just over analyzing things. Still uneasy I sat in the armchair, away from the couch where Rick was sitting. I sat there, quite stiff, for all of the first movie.
Once the movie was over I walked over to put in the second movie. I decided to stop being stupid and sat down on the couch next to Rick. He was my friend, maybe he did 'like' me, maybe he did not. Either way he had been a better friend to me than any of my friends back in New York, so I did not care.
I was not about to be one of those guys who even cringed at the thought of a guy liking another guy. It happened, and there is nothing wrong with it.
As these thoughts buzzed through my mind I started to feel my eyelids get heavy. I fell asleep before the kid had even bit the dust in Pet Cemetery.
When I awoke, the TV was glowing blue and my head was up against Rick's shoulder. Rick's arm was around me. I sat up, half out of surprise, and half just to get myself up. I went over to my backpack and got my pillow. I put myself on the floor and fell back asleep.
I awoke the next morning with Rick behind me, his arm around me. I wanted to be cool with it I really did, but I guess waking up with him holding me sort of freaked me out because I got up and went over to my house. Rick did not wake up as I left, he was still sound asleep with smile on his face.
I did not go to see Rick again that day, I figured he would be busy with work anyway. The next day Rick showed up at the door in his work clothes.
"Tom, can we talk?" he asked. Rick looked really troubled.
"Yes" I responded without really thinking. I felt a giant lump form in my throat. I had a good idea of what Rick wanted to talk about, and I was not sure if I really wanted to discuss that.
Rick took a deep breath as we started to walk down the beach, then he began.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Orange Part 3
I understood him a lot better now.
He had been deeply hurt and had seen the darker sides of the world, so that is why he was so sunny all the time. Rick wanted to be that change we all strive to see in the world.
I did not know how to respond so I just hugged him, and surprisingly it was not awkward.
I was not used to hugging guys, or getting close with them.
All me and my guy friends back at home talked about was sports, music, or girls. Also we never dared hug each other; my friends were the kind of guys who would not hesitate to call you a fag just for even mentioning emotion.
All this went through my mind as I was hugging him.
"Alright, I'm OK. I'll be fine. I guess talking about it just brings back very bad memories for me. Can we just play Guitar Hero or something? It always gets my mind off of things." Rick said rubbing the back of his head, almost looking embarrassed for being sad.
"Sure man, but first I just want you to know you can talk about this any time you want with me. You listened to me gripe about my stupid problems. Not saying what you just told is stupid, or that they're problems or-...let's just rock our faces off." I said, ever so slightly failing at trying to be helpful. Rick grinned, so I knew he understood what I was trying to say.
We played for about three straight hours. I did not want to have to leave for the day so I went quickly over to my house to ask my mom if I could sleepover at Rick's. She said yes but gave me a look that sort of said 'Since when do you have sleepovers?'. I just hugged her, said thank you and that I loved her, grabbed my stuff for the night and headed back over to Rick's.
I had the best night of my life. We talked for hours about the most random things. That is pretty much all we did, we just talked, for hours upon hours. It was great. Eventually we both agreed that although we most likely could keep talking, we definitely needed to get to sleep; Rick did have work in the morning after all.
When I awoke the sun had just peered out from the horizon. Rick was already up cooking an omelet.
"Dude, how are you already cooking breakfast?" I asked, almost jumping at the resurgence of my use of the word 'dude'.
"I'm an early riser plus I gotta get to work at seven. I work seven to three as opposed to the usual nine to five. Not sure why that is, I guess it was the only shift open when I first asked for a job, and now I've just sort of stuck to it." Rick said as he expertly flipped the omelet.
I was not sure how to respond to Rick, he just continued to show me how great people could be. Despite everything he had been through he had become this completely amazing individual who worked hard, was the sunniest person I had ever met, and apparently an excellent cook.
"What's up man? You look like you have something on your mind." Rick said as he divided the omelet in to two and put them on two plates that already had toast and home fries ready.
"Oh never-mind, it's nothing; let's eat!" I said politely brushing off Rick's well intended curiosity. I'm not sure why I felt the need to hide that thought from Rick.
"So when I get back from work later we have to go on an adventure." Rick said through a mouthful of potatoes.
"An adventure? How do you mean?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"Oh you'll find out later; for now just eat and I shall explain what I am talking about when I get back from work. My aunt Rena should be here soon to bring me to work so I'm gonna go out to the road and wait for her, but you can stay here and finish up. Please just make sure you lock up when you leave and turn any lights off or whatever else is on. See ya later, Tom!" Rick said as he grabbed a pair of sunglasses and went out the door.
Once again Rick perplexed me.
I could not wait to see what our 'adventure' would be.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Orange Part 2
When I met Rick at the beach I told him all about the odd dream and he just started to laugh.
"So you're telling me you dreamt of a rabbit wearing a mask talking about the fourth dimension and killer cheddar? What the hell did you eat before going to bed?"Rick said while gasping for breath. Clearly the inner workings of my subconscious were comedy gold. After a while I found myself laughing along with Rick, I just could not help it. I cannot say why, but up until talking to Rick, I took my ominous bunny time cheese dream very seriously.
I hate to keep coming back to her but I blame Elena 100%. I knew how to kid around before her. I knew what was funny. Everything had been so goddamn serious with that harpy; there was never any time for fun with her. When she was not teaching me something she was talking about what our relationship meant to me, and what it meant to her.
Thinking about it afterwords made me absolutely sick.
I realized while laughing along with Rick for almost the entire school year, I had been some person I so clearly was not. I had become a person who could not laugh in the face of the sheer ridiculousness of a time bending bunny in a masquerade talking about the muenster of doom.
While this was going on in my head I just hugged Rick. I can see no other reason for this other than his help to bring my sense of humor back.
The weirder part was him hugging me back.
"Uh...sorry. I uhm... I'm just really happy I could have a good laugh. Being with Elena sort of made everything pretty serious. The future was serious, our relationship was serious, our choice of movie from Blockbuster was serious, my choice of meat at a restaurant was serious. If I had told Elena about that dream she would have gotten out some stupid dream journal to find out what they dream meant because they are 'serious messages from your subconscious'. Hell she'd probably even have asked me what kind of cheese it was for further meaning. I guess it was nice to just laugh at something and not get all serious about it." I said rather solemnly.
"Woah dude, this Elena girl really fucked you up didn't she? I knew it was a nasty breakup, but this is serious. I've never seen a dude in such a funk over one chick." Rick said, his green eyes staring intensely at me. Once again Rick showed a quality I had never seen in any of my friends, he looked you straight in the eye when he talked to you.
"I don't really wanna talk about it now. I'd rather get my mind of it for a while and keep learning to ride the waves. I think I'd like to talk about it later though, maybe over lunch or something." I said drawing indeterminate shapes in the sand with my foot.
"Yeah that's fine, but I hope you're willing to talk about it later. It sounds like it's really getting you down, and I don't wanna see my new friend down in the dumps!" Rick said with a huge grin.
This kid was too surreal for me. I was so used to kids being superficial or moody. I just assumed all teenagers were like that and we would grow out of it or something, but Rick seemed as if he had never heard of 'the moody teenager'. His very aura made me forget that I even had any kind of woes. It must have been growing up with all that Florida sun or something that made him so, well to put it simply, sunny. I had to find out though; I wanted to know how to be more like him. I was tired of moping and treating life like some great problem that constantly needed to be solved.
Rick helped me say 'no more!' with a simple dip into the salty surf as the waves grew higher and a couple of 'choice' waves came in and tested what I learned so far.
According to Rick the fact that I even stayed on for 5 seconds showed how quick I was learning. If it were anyone else I would think that they sparing my feelings or something, but Rick looked me straight in the eye when he said it with a huge smile that no one could deny.
"Well I'm starving and it's clear you're coming along really good. I think we should go to my house, make some lunch, have a heart to heart, and then melt some faces with a couple of choice songs from Guitar Hero. I'm a big fan of grilled cheese accompanied by Misirlou, how about you?" Rick asked as we paddled back to shore.
We headed back to Rick's house, a small comfortable looking house. It was smaller than most beach houses I had seen, but it still looked very nice. We went inside and I was surprised by how quiet it was. It was fairly neat. No one was there which struck me as odd so I asked,
"Hey Rick where are your parents at?"
"I'll explain later." He said in a rather different tone; it was not quite right. I could not quite figure out what was missing from it.
"How does sharp cheddar and mozzarella sound to you?" Rick asked.
"It's cheese, in my opinion you cannot go wrong. Plus I'm so hungry you could put a rotting boar in front of me and I would most likely eat it with the help of some salt" I responded whilst rubbing my stomach.
"Perfect!" Rick explained while buttering the bread for our sandwiches. It smelled heavenly as it sizzled in the cast iron pan Rick was using. Rick came back with two perfectly golden brown sandwiches with the cheese oozing out just enough to make one want to immediately snatch up the sandwich in his jaws. Rick also handed me a bright green colored thick liquid.
"What is that?" I inquired.
"I call it Awesomejuice. Just try it. I dare you not to love it. I also ask you now to please kindly spill your guts. I do not care if it involves the girliest of tears, spill it." Rick said as he stared intensely at me.
I took a sip of Awesomejuice and I did just as Rick asked. It felt great.
"The worst thing is I worked so hard to be the guy she wanted and after all of that she goes and blames me for something being wrong with the relationship. I worked so hard, but I guess it didn't matter for I so clearly was not the person she wanted me to be." I sighed.
"So screw her! Plenty of girls would kill to be with you my friend! you are clearly very emotional, which girls dig. Plus, while I may not be a perfect judge of this, you are quite a 'hunk'." Rick said the last word in the girliest voice possible to avoid any awkwardness from what was admittedly a very nice compliment, "If she didn't like you for who you were and are, what's the point? You should be someone who sees you for exactly who you are and loves you for it. At least that's how I see it" Rick said while once again looking me in the eye. This time he was making large gestures of righteous anger.
I nodded and said,
"Yeah, you do have a point. Alright so now that I've given you my story, what's yours? What do your parents-"
"They don't live here." Rick interjected, "I didn't want to bring it up earlier because we were here to talk about your problems, but yeah I don't live with my parents. For all I know they're somewhere in California." Rick said in that same tone from before.
"Oh. Then how-"
"Can I live on my own? I'm emancipated. I take care of this house as a favor for the landlord and I work for my food, electric, plumbing etc. Oh jeez this is a long story find a comfortable spot to sit, you'll be there for a while." Rick said running his hands through his hair. He looked pained by telling me this news.
I felt very scared for Rick.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Orange Part 1
Until her I had not given a lot of thought to anything, I was very absent-minded.
But Elena changed it all for me my sophomore year. I just sort of noticed how she talked and how it made me think of things.
I really started to notice her ways in English.
She said something about motifs and how they applied to Shakespeare's Macbeth.
I had no idea what motifs were, or what she was talking about. I asked he later what she was talking about.
At first Elena thought I was making fun of her but then I said,
"No really, what is a motif? What you said sounded interesting but I had no idea what you were saying"
Later that day Elena and I headed down to a coffee shop near the school to talk about Macbeth and all the stuff in it I did not get that she did.
She was so witty and at times very funny.
She was so adorable, I could not get enough of her and her mind.
We started dating a week after that coffee stop and we dated until the end of school when she told me,
"Tom I cannot keep this going.You are so sweet, but I cannot be your teacher anymore. I do not feel like we have an actual relationship, I feel as if this year has just been me teaching everything from Motifs to the Quadratic formula. I do not want to be your tutor forever. I know that is not all I am to you but that is all I feel like now. I cannot do this anymore Tom, so I'm ending it."
Elena could not have better broken my heart then if she had ripped it out and put it in a blender.It was one shitty way for her to greet me after I had just finished my last final.
Now two weeks later I was on my way to Orange county. Just me and my parents spending a stunningly boring and long car ride to go to a long and at times very monotonous vacation.
I must admit I do like our beach house but I was in no mood at the time to be in car with my mother pointing out every single thing that she thought was pretty or interesting. On most car rides I found this quite amusing, but unluckily for me and my mother my mood was soured by my mending heart. I eventually snapped and told my mother to shut up, which did not go over well at all. Feeling defeated by myself and my bad mood I tried to sleep.
I dreamt of Elena. This helped me none. I awoke even more surly than before, but luckily I had also awoken just as we arrived at our beach home.
"Help your mother with the bags Tom." my father said.
"eh, yeah, whatever." I responded half-heartedly.
After I had done my task I slumped on to my bed.
"Tommy your Dad and I are going down to the beach, you want to come?" my Mom called up to me from the kitchen.
I contemplated not responding and pretending to sleep, but a little part of me told me to get up and go to the beach with my parents. I listened to it, slathered on some sunblock, put on a bathing suit, grabbed a towel, gathered my sunglasses and rushed out the door with my parents.
As we went out the door I noticed I left my cell phone by the door and put it in one of the pockets of my bathing suit.
The sound of the waves immediately calmed me down. The sun seemed to ebb away the sorrow I had been harboring in me. The beach was just the cure I needed for the woes of my recent breakup. Its salty spray making Elena a distant memory.
After a half our of lying in the hot sun I jumped into the water. I swam around for a couple of minutes quite enjoying myself until an awful fact dawned on me. MY PHONE WAS STILL IN MY LEFT POCKET. I yelled every expletive I knew as I raised my phone as high out of the water as possible and rushed out of the water. It was quite a display, I think I heard a kid or two running to their parents in fear of my rampage.
"Shit Doreen he's done it AGAIN" my father exclaimed as he smacked himself on the forehead.
"IMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRY" I said. This was half to my parents and half to my phone.
"Don't worry champ, you know we've got insurance on that thing now." My dad sighed.
"Oh, really? I thought you said we couldn't afford it..." I said looking quite confused.
"It was going to be a surprise for your birthday next week Tommy." Mom said as she toweled off my phone.
"Oh, well I'm as relieved as I would have been surprised!" I said while plopping down into the sand. My parents just sort of grumbled. The new phone would be my fifth replacement in three years.
It then hit me that I would be without phone for a few days. This not the worst of all things, but I was already starting to feel withdrawal. My parents did not want me to start griping about my phone so they sent me on what they liked to call one of their 'Social Adventures'.
These started when we first started coming to our beach house. Their only purpose for me to walk down the beach and play with strange kids.
The condition of the Adventures were that I introduce myself to two kids on the beach and bring them back to my parents. This was just fine when I was five, especially because it kept me as an only child from becoming a socially awkward kid. It did not seem so awkward when I was younger. This was before embarrassment even existed in my mind.
Now as an angsty teen it was ever present, so I negotiated with my parents to find one other teenager and walk and talk with them and simply walk by my parents as we walked down the beach.
It took me a while to find a kid who looked my age, 16. Eventually I found a kid who was diving into the surf. I had been searching for about a half hour so I desperately jumped in after him and yelled,
"HI I'M TOM!"
"uh, hi, I'm Rick..." he responded.
"YEAH I KNOW IT'S AWKWARD. I'LL EXPLAIN ON LAND" I yelled once more.
"haha, sure" He said, a smile now on his face.
I explained the whole 'Social Adventure' idea my parents had for me, and why they had reinstated it.
"Yeah that's fine, you seem like a pretty chill dude anyhow, and I was as bored as hell. The waves are hella suckish today." he said while wiping off his blond mop of hair with his towel.
I almost scoffed at his usage of 'chill dude' and 'hella suckish', but I realized that was the Elena part of me speaking, the part I had to forget. I used to talk like that all the time.
So we went on and Rick told me all about his family and growing up with three siblings. I talked about being an only child. We talked about our school's. Rick gave me permission to talk about Elena and how she tore out my heart. He agreed with how I felt on the issue. I enjoyed talking to Rick so much I almost forgot to wave to my parents. I guess it was because unlike most of my guy friends he was very willing to listen. He seemed like he actually cared. This struck me as quite odd for we had just met, but none the less it seemed very genuine.
Rick and I eventually ran out of things to talk about, and we were quite silent for a while.
"You want me to teach you how to surf?" Rick offered, breaking the silence.
"Sure, but I gotta get back before sundown. I know my parents will give me hell if I don't get back before then" I responded.
"Well I've got about four weeks to learn so I think our time today will be just fine." I said smiling back at Rick. His smiley demeanor was pretty contagious.
My lesson was interesting, for I was falling off my surfboard more than I was standing on it. Rick assured me this was how it was supposed to be when you first started. I was ready to give up until Rick offered to demonstrate as a large wave came in.
The way he ripped across that wave looked effortless. It was very awe inspiring, and it got me heading towards the very next wave after Rick's. He noticed what I was doing and cheered me on. As the wave came in I got up on the board and placed my feet how Rick had shown me to.
I miraculously rode the wave.
Despite all my clumsiness and all that was on my mind, I rode that force of mother nature, and I was flying.
I was free.
If just for a second.
Just in time too because as I came to shore the sun was reaching the horizon forming a blazing orange disc.
"This was really fun Tom, it's nice to find someone down here who is actually worth hanging out with" Rick said while rubbing the top of his head.
"Likewise. Hey do you want to come over for dinner? We're having mahi mahi tonight, it should be pretty good, my dad has a way with fish." I found myself saying. It was odd for I liked hanging out with people, but I had never really been social enough to take the initiative to invite someone over for dinner.
"That sounds really good, but I don't think I can, I promised my family I'd eat dinner with them tonight." Rick responded, "But how about we meet here tomorrow at eleven and have lunch at my house? If we get tired of the sun maybe we can play some Guitar Hero or something."
"Sounds like a plan man!" I said, once again smiling.
yet another story...
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Between Part 2
We discovered chaos in the apartment; chairs flying around, dishes smashing themselves and precious crystal glasses exploding.
The poor couple's apartment became a supernatural war zone.
"BAT!" I shouted over all the noise as I saw a bluish cloud of energy go into the bathroom. James handed me the bat as he aimed at a fuchsia cloud hovering in the kitchenette.
For some reason the blue poltergeist was hovering in front of the bathroom mirror, it must have been quite vain in its life for most ghosts do not care what they look like.
It was quite a stupid ghost because it did not notice the human coming up behind it with a spectral bat.
After a few hits the bastard was reduced to a simple goop.
"JAMES I NEED A JAR BEFORE THIS FUCKER REFORMS!" I screamed.
The 'jar' I am referring to is a jar made of plasm infused glass. They are standard issue for those who do work like James and I. These jars are used for cleaning up the remains of our few nasty foes that we come across in our job. We have to label them with the correct notation later and send them to a government facility for disposal. The reason for this is if a dispatched ghost is left just sitting it does one of three things:
1. stink up the household
2.burn through the floor
3.come back even more angry than before
Our customers hate all of the above choices. James and I do not really care about the first two options, but the third one means we have to come back for a free job which we hate doing. Because of this hatred we made sure we were thorough.
BANG!
"You got it James?" I shouted out of the bathroom door.
"Yep, I'll scoop him up and I think we can -" James responded without finishing.
"We can what? What is it James?" I asked stepping out of the bathroom with a full and slightly glowing jar of ghost goo, "Oh. Dear. God."
There was a gigantic mass of debris from the apartment that had formed into a sort of golem like structure moving right towards James.
"Ronnie get this thing away from me!" James screamed as he moved into a corner.
"You have the gun you idiot! It should go right through all the shit around whatever is in there. Aim for the part that looks most like the head!" I shouted at James. He did exactly what I told him and all of the things from the apartment fell into a pile as a yellow colored goo leaked from the bottom.
"Way to keep you head on your shoulders James" I chuckled as I helped him past the pile of what had been the contents of the apartment.
"Hello, is anyone here?" James called as we searched the apartment. We heard a muffled sound coming from the bedroom. Soon the closet door opened and our clients appeared.
"Is it gone?" Asked the man I assumed was the man I had talked to on the on the phone.
"Yup, all taken care of sir." James said with a sort of goofy satisfied smile.
"That will be $250 for our labor and $50 for each of the bullets we had to use." I said. James never really liked to mention the money.
The man's wife raised her eyebrows at him but he just said,
"Well that's fine I guess, we were really scared there. Poltergeists don't usually do that right?"
"True. Clearly those were not poltergeists. I am sorry to say that I don't know what they were, I'll have to look through my government handbook again. Thank you for your patronage sir and ma'am. My partner and I will take the ghosts with us and we'll send you the bill later." I said as James cleaned up the last of the yellow goop that was leaking out of an antique chair.
"Jesus H. Christ that was too close. What the hell was that thing Ronnie?!" James exclaimed as we got back in to the car.
"I honestly have no idea James, I was not just bullshitting our customers back there. Like I said, maybe I should take a second look at the handbook." I responded running my hands through my hair. It is a nervous habit of mine.
"Yeah ya should" James responded as he put the keys into the ignition.
When we both got home I discovered that what we had handled was considered a class 5 poltergeist, more commonly known as a "Spectral Golem". It sure was not commonly known by anyone I had talked with.
One thing concerned me greatly,
the handbook said "An appearance of this identity almost always signifies a positive fluctuation of spectral energy in the surrounding area",
which in plain English means "oh and by the way, things are about to get a lot worse for you"
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Between Part 1
One might say, "What are you talking about, the dead stay dead, this is ridiculous"
In your world you would be mostly correct, in my world you would be mostly wrong. In your world, the world of the Norm most of the dead stay dead no ghosts no nothing with the exception of a nasty specter or two here and there. In my world, the realm of Between, the dead come back and visit if they forgot to get their morning paper right before they died on the crapper. In my realm death is not so clear cut, most likely because we have never had a concept of a God to fear like you may have, so peoples spirits have no idea of where to go. Most just stick around, the smart ones go to your world, haunt for a little while, find out about that nifty little thing called the afterlife from some other and jump on that train to redemption or punishment. It all depends on the life they lived, but you know this.
The point is, in Between we do not have Heaven, Hell, or anything like it, because of this ghosts sometimes roam entirely too free. They crowd the world of Between at times.
My job is crowd control, or at least most of the time. I remove spirits caught in Between, most o f the time it is a breeze. Someone calls complaining about some old guy moaning in their kitchen and it turns out he is just really confused about where he is. I point him in the right direction and before I know it he has skipped of on to some other plane of existence and I charge my nice little flat rate of 250 bucks.
It is quite lucrative to make a living off the dead.
Unluckily some cases are particularly grueling, like when a nasty spirit gets a little feisty and gets a couple of friends to torment some nice couple in their loft apartment.
This is why us Between folk invented Plasm, a substance that can be applied to anything and make it tangible to a ghost.
This is what makes it possible to reduce an evil spirit to a driveling pile of goo.
My preferred Plasm imbibed weapon is a baseball bat, but for some spirits who just will not die (again) I have to whip out the Plasm gun. I hate it when I have to use it because Plasm bullets are costly little suckers.
But yeah, I guess you could consider my job to be a mix of a supernatural private eye and an exterminator.
I do not do this all alone though, I have a partner to help me out with some of the tougher cases. James is not the brightest of sorts, but he gets the job done. Also it is kind of nice to have a pretty face around the office to fool around with when things get slow.
Luckily for me things had just gotten slow and James decided to stop by the office. The minute he got in I just kissed him, it's what I did sometimes. Plus this particular time I was very horny and also very bored.
"Haha, hello to you too Ronnie. How 'bout you let me get my coat off first, huh? Any new cases? I'm guessing no, but I figured I should ask..." James said peaking over on to my desk.
I did not really reply, I just kissed him again and he giggled in that cute way he does when he is horny.
"You know you really are gorgeous? I'm serious, I have never seen a guy with better features than yours James." I said after an hour or so of fooling around.
For once I was telling the truth to a guy, I had said stuff like that before just to get in a guys pants, but I was serious about James. He really is gorgeous. Those locks of golden hair, those beautiful amber eyes, his toned tanned body, soft skin, and phenomenal lips.
But enough about my gorgeous partner, for I heard the phone ringing.
"Hold that thought" I said as I got up to get the phone and James stared in awe at me actually being sentimental.
"Spectre Incorporated, how can I help you tonight?" I said in my best professional voice, which made me vomit a little in my mouth every time I used it.
"Oh thank god you were up at this late hour! I have a couple of poltergeists mucking about my house and my wife and I just cannot get to sleep. Can you come over?" He asked over speaker phone.
I gave a look to James that said 'well that is sort of the point of the business' but I told the customer "Of course sir. My partner and I will be right over." He gave us his location and we got in my car.
"Bat?" I asked.
"Check"James responded.
"Notepad?"
"Double check"
"Gun?"
"Yup."
"Keys?" I asked while James searched his person.
"Shit, one sec'. I'll be right back" James said as he rushed back up in to the office. Like I said, he is not the brightest guy around, but oh well. He is cute and does pretty well with a gun, so I keep him around.
"Alright, crisis averted, they were in my back pocket." James said. I just chuckled and we went off to the job site.
"I'm feeling lazy James, what do you say we just take the bat to these bastards and be done with it?" I asked James. To be fully I honest, I am not lazy ever, but I was incredibly horny and our client had interrupted my time with James.
"Sure, why not. I like the bat better anyhow, I'm not so good with negotiating with the stiffs. they always laugh at me, or yell." James agreed, "Oh I know we've got the address and all, but I have no idea where that part of town is, how will we know when we're there?"
"It's that one" I said while I pointed to a glowing green window with a few object being thrown out of it, "This is not good, it's gone psychokinetic."
"Um right...that, I'm guessing we should bring the gun?" James asked.
"Yes James I believe we should"