We went straight up to the apartment and I broke down the door. I figured that our patrons would not mind or notice due to their current predicament.
We discovered chaos in the apartment; chairs flying around, dishes smashing themselves and precious crystal glasses exploding.
The poor couple's apartment became a supernatural war zone.
"BAT!" I shouted over all the noise as I saw a bluish cloud of energy go into the bathroom. James handed me the bat as he aimed at a fuchsia cloud hovering in the kitchenette.
For some reason the blue poltergeist was hovering in front of the bathroom mirror, it must have been quite vain in its life for most ghosts do not care what they look like.
It was quite a stupid ghost because it did not notice the human coming up behind it with a spectral bat.
After a few hits the bastard was reduced to a simple goop.
"JAMES I NEED A JAR BEFORE THIS FUCKER REFORMS!" I screamed.
The 'jar' I am referring to is a jar made of plasm infused glass. They are standard issue for those who do work like James and I. These jars are used for cleaning up the remains of our few nasty foes that we come across in our job. We have to label them with the correct notation later and send them to a government facility for disposal. The reason for this is if a dispatched ghost is left just sitting it does one of three things:
1. stink up the household
2.burn through the floor
3.come back even more angry than before
Our customers hate all of the above choices. James and I do not really care about the first two options, but the third one means we have to come back for a free job which we hate doing. Because of this hatred we made sure we were thorough.
BANG!
"You got it James?" I shouted out of the bathroom door.
"Yep, I'll scoop him up and I think we can -" James responded without finishing.
"We can what? What is it James?" I asked stepping out of the bathroom with a full and slightly glowing jar of ghost goo, "Oh. Dear. God."
There was a gigantic mass of debris from the apartment that had formed into a sort of golem like structure moving right towards James.
"Ronnie get this thing away from me!" James screamed as he moved into a corner.
"You have the gun you idiot! It should go right through all the shit around whatever is in there. Aim for the part that looks most like the head!" I shouted at James. He did exactly what I told him and all of the things from the apartment fell into a pile as a yellow colored goo leaked from the bottom.
"Way to keep you head on your shoulders James" I chuckled as I helped him past the pile of what had been the contents of the apartment.
"Hello, is anyone here?" James called as we searched the apartment. We heard a muffled sound coming from the bedroom. Soon the closet door opened and our clients appeared.
"Is it gone?" Asked the man I assumed was the man I had talked to on the on the phone.
"Yup, all taken care of sir." James said with a sort of goofy satisfied smile.
"That will be $250 for our labor and $50 for each of the bullets we had to use." I said. James never really liked to mention the money.
The man's wife raised her eyebrows at him but he just said,
"Well that's fine I guess, we were really scared there. Poltergeists don't usually do that right?"
"True. Clearly those were not poltergeists. I am sorry to say that I don't know what they were, I'll have to look through my government handbook again. Thank you for your patronage sir and ma'am. My partner and I will take the ghosts with us and we'll send you the bill later." I said as James cleaned up the last of the yellow goop that was leaking out of an antique chair.
"Jesus H. Christ that was too close. What the hell was that thing Ronnie?!" James exclaimed as we got back in to the car.
"I honestly have no idea James, I was not just bullshitting our customers back there. Like I said, maybe I should take a second look at the handbook." I responded running my hands through my hair. It is a nervous habit of mine.
"Yeah ya should" James responded as he put the keys into the ignition.
When we both got home I discovered that what we had handled was considered a class 5 poltergeist, more commonly known as a "Spectral Golem". It sure was not commonly known by anyone I had talked with.
One thing concerned me greatly,
the handbook said "An appearance of this identity almost always signifies a positive fluctuation of spectral energy in the surrounding area",
which in plain English means "oh and by the way, things are about to get a lot worse for you"
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Between Part 1
I live in a world where the dead do not like to stay that way. It is truly a bitch and I would probably complain about it more, but if it were not true I would be out of a job.
One might say, "What are you talking about, the dead stay dead, this is ridiculous"
In your world you would be mostly correct, in my world you would be mostly wrong. In your world, the world of the Norm most of the dead stay dead no ghosts no nothing with the exception of a nasty specter or two here and there. In my world, the realm of Between, the dead come back and visit if they forgot to get their morning paper right before they died on the crapper. In my realm death is not so clear cut, most likely because we have never had a concept of a God to fear like you may have, so peoples spirits have no idea of where to go. Most just stick around, the smart ones go to your world, haunt for a little while, find out about that nifty little thing called the afterlife from some other and jump on that train to redemption or punishment. It all depends on the life they lived, but you know this.
The point is, in Between we do not have Heaven, Hell, or anything like it, because of this ghosts sometimes roam entirely too free. They crowd the world of Between at times.
My job is crowd control, or at least most of the time. I remove spirits caught in Between, most o f the time it is a breeze. Someone calls complaining about some old guy moaning in their kitchen and it turns out he is just really confused about where he is. I point him in the right direction and before I know it he has skipped of on to some other plane of existence and I charge my nice little flat rate of 250 bucks.
It is quite lucrative to make a living off the dead.
Unluckily some cases are particularly grueling, like when a nasty spirit gets a little feisty and gets a couple of friends to torment some nice couple in their loft apartment.
This is why us Between folk invented Plasm, a substance that can be applied to anything and make it tangible to a ghost.
This is what makes it possible to reduce an evil spirit to a driveling pile of goo.
My preferred Plasm imbibed weapon is a baseball bat, but for some spirits who just will not die (again) I have to whip out the Plasm gun. I hate it when I have to use it because Plasm bullets are costly little suckers.
One might say, "What are you talking about, the dead stay dead, this is ridiculous"
In your world you would be mostly correct, in my world you would be mostly wrong. In your world, the world of the Norm most of the dead stay dead no ghosts no nothing with the exception of a nasty specter or two here and there. In my world, the realm of Between, the dead come back and visit if they forgot to get their morning paper right before they died on the crapper. In my realm death is not so clear cut, most likely because we have never had a concept of a God to fear like you may have, so peoples spirits have no idea of where to go. Most just stick around, the smart ones go to your world, haunt for a little while, find out about that nifty little thing called the afterlife from some other and jump on that train to redemption or punishment. It all depends on the life they lived, but you know this.
The point is, in Between we do not have Heaven, Hell, or anything like it, because of this ghosts sometimes roam entirely too free. They crowd the world of Between at times.
My job is crowd control, or at least most of the time. I remove spirits caught in Between, most o f the time it is a breeze. Someone calls complaining about some old guy moaning in their kitchen and it turns out he is just really confused about where he is. I point him in the right direction and before I know it he has skipped of on to some other plane of existence and I charge my nice little flat rate of 250 bucks.
It is quite lucrative to make a living off the dead.
Unluckily some cases are particularly grueling, like when a nasty spirit gets a little feisty and gets a couple of friends to torment some nice couple in their loft apartment.
This is why us Between folk invented Plasm, a substance that can be applied to anything and make it tangible to a ghost.
This is what makes it possible to reduce an evil spirit to a driveling pile of goo.
My preferred Plasm imbibed weapon is a baseball bat, but for some spirits who just will not die (again) I have to whip out the Plasm gun. I hate it when I have to use it because Plasm bullets are costly little suckers.
But yeah, I guess you could consider my job to be a mix of a supernatural private eye and an exterminator.
I do not do this all alone though, I have a partner to help me out with some of the tougher cases. James is not the brightest of sorts, but he gets the job done. Also it is kind of nice to have a pretty face around the office to fool around with when things get slow.
Luckily for me things had just gotten slow and James decided to stop by the office. The minute he got in I just kissed him, it's what I did sometimes. Plus this particular time I was very horny and also very bored.
"Haha, hello to you too Ronnie. How 'bout you let me get my coat off first, huh? Any new cases? I'm guessing no, but I figured I should ask..." James said peaking over on to my desk.
I did not really reply, I just kissed him again and he giggled in that cute way he does when he is horny.
"You know you really are gorgeous? I'm serious, I have never seen a guy with better features than yours James." I said after an hour or so of fooling around.
For once I was telling the truth to a guy, I had said stuff like that before just to get in a guys pants, but I was serious about James. He really is gorgeous. Those locks of golden hair, those beautiful amber eyes, his toned tanned body, soft skin, and phenomenal lips.
But enough about my gorgeous partner, for I heard the phone ringing.
"Hold that thought" I said as I got up to get the phone and James stared in awe at me actually being sentimental.
"Spectre Incorporated, how can I help you tonight?" I said in my best professional voice, which made me vomit a little in my mouth every time I used it.
"Oh thank god you were up at this late hour! I have a couple of poltergeists mucking about my house and my wife and I just cannot get to sleep. Can you come over?" He asked over speaker phone.
I gave a look to James that said 'well that is sort of the point of the business' but I told the customer "Of course sir. My partner and I will be right over." He gave us his location and we got in my car.
"Bat?" I asked.
"Check"James responded.
"Notepad?"
"Double check"
"Gun?"
"Yup."
"Keys?" I asked while James searched his person.
"Shit, one sec'. I'll be right back" James said as he rushed back up in to the office. Like I said, he is not the brightest guy around, but oh well. He is cute and does pretty well with a gun, so I keep him around.
"Alright, crisis averted, they were in my back pocket." James said. I just chuckled and we went off to the job site.
"I'm feeling lazy James, what do you say we just take the bat to these bastards and be done with it?" I asked James. To be fully I honest, I am not lazy ever, but I was incredibly horny and our client had interrupted my time with James.
"Sure, why not. I like the bat better anyhow, I'm not so good with negotiating with the stiffs. they always laugh at me, or yell." James agreed, "Oh I know we've got the address and all, but I have no idea where that part of town is, how will we know when we're there?"
"It's that one" I said while I pointed to a glowing green window with a few object being thrown out of it, "This is not good, it's gone psychokinetic."
"Um right...that, I'm guessing we should bring the gun?" James asked.
"Yes James I believe we should"
gay cowboys break my heart everytime...oh also...
So yeah, watched Brokeback Mountain today. It was amazing. Sentimental at times but most definitely not mushy gushy. This is one of the first movies to get legitimate tears from me, and I am NOT a crier.
I'm happy I read the story first though because I would have a harder time understanding Ennis. Heath Ledger may be cute but when he plays gay cowboys apparently he cannot enunciate. In his wonderful method actor mind or apparently gay cowboys must only use vowels and a low dulcet tone at all times. Mind you when I could understand what he was saying, he was absolutely wonderful, he was still wonderful even when you could not understand what he was saying.
Jake Gylenhall was also phenomenal. Even though I knew what was going to happen to him at the end, I still cried when Jack Twist died. I do not know if it was his awesome acting that got me, or his stunning blue eyes, or both. All I know is that dude seriously struck a chord with me.
Anyhow since I'm on the topic of awesome gay stories, I shall be writing a new story! Many more parts, a little more out there, and a little more gritty.
I decided to write another story because well...
"I 'AINT QUITTIN' YOU!"
(sorry to those of you who have no idea of what I'm talking about)
I'm happy I read the story first though because I would have a harder time understanding Ennis. Heath Ledger may be cute but when he plays gay cowboys apparently he cannot enunciate. In his wonderful method actor mind or apparently gay cowboys must only use vowels and a low dulcet tone at all times. Mind you when I could understand what he was saying, he was absolutely wonderful, he was still wonderful even when you could not understand what he was saying.
Jake Gylenhall was also phenomenal. Even though I knew what was going to happen to him at the end, I still cried when Jack Twist died. I do not know if it was his awesome acting that got me, or his stunning blue eyes, or both. All I know is that dude seriously struck a chord with me.
Anyhow since I'm on the topic of awesome gay stories, I shall be writing a new story! Many more parts, a little more out there, and a little more gritty.
I decided to write another story because well...
"I 'AINT QUITTIN' YOU!"
(sorry to those of you who have no idea of what I'm talking about)
Monday, June 14, 2010
What Came to Be...Part 8
I did not focus in class at all, but who could blame me? I had just had the happiest moment in my high school career, screw Algebra. All I could think about was lunch and what Johnny had to say to me. I assumed it would be good, but somehow I was still nervous.
It's funny how three words can mess with your psyche so much.
Before I knew it, it was lunchtime. I had never been so excited to see our school's dismal cafeteria.
"Over here!" Johnny shouted at me from across the room. I just sort of smiled and floated over to him. I noticed he had already gotten me a lunch.
"It's chicken patty today, don't worry I wouldn't have bought you one if it weren't, the rest of this shit in the cafeteria is nasty" He said grinning.
"Yup. So we definitely have to talk. Where do we stand here? I mean I know what we both said, and I know I mean it, and I'm pretty sure you mean it, but then you said you had more you wanted to say and so I got nervous and I really wish you'd stop me now..." I said as I eventually started talking into my lunch.
"Gladly. Now here's the thing. I did mean what I said. The only reason I have more to say is I want to explain all of what that means like you did, but maybe with a couple more breaths and a little slower" he said with a giggle, "You've given me the courage to not care about what anyone thinks about me, you've shown me just what it is to care for someone, you've shown me a side of myself I've neglected since I was a kid, sometimes to me you are the only person in the world, you're crazy talented, you've shown me what it's like for someone to actually care about you, you've helped me discover who I actually am. Because of all this and so much more this is why I love you Alex Harting"
"Kiss me. Now." I responded.
And we did. And we did not care about all the dirty looks we got from passers by or the buzz that came afterwards. As usual there was no one else in the world but us, but now we could have that feeling in public because Johnny had had the courage to stand up for himself and be honest.
The rest of that school year was bliss.
But then, Johnny had graduation.
He had gotten full ride at a great school, in California.
A little far from our resident upstate New York.
So the summer before he left, Johnny and I made the most of what we had left.
We had so much fun we almost forgot he was going across the country when it was all said and done.
Almost...
Then I had my senior year.
Johnny told me he would keep in touch, that we'd stay friends and see each other on the holidays.
For the most part we did, which hurt even more.
I didn't date anyone that year, I focused on my schoolwork and my extra-curriculars. Practically poured my everything in to them.
I had to find a way to get past the past and move on.
Then graduation came around for me.
Riley and I both got into an awesome college in Massachusetts. Her for forensics and me for Neuropsychology.
Once again I just focused on school and other things, Johnny was less on my mind, but ever present in the back of it.
I did not know if he would ever leave.
Guys had flirted with me at college, but I did not pay them much mind. If I ever got really lonely I might kiss one or two, just to make the loneliness go away.
There was one guy who I dated for about half a year who was quite nice. He was a sociology major named Jason. He had jet black hair, black rimmed glasses, chiseled features and icy blue eyes.
He was very nice to me.
But I could never explain to him why I was so distant all the time until one day Riley came up to me as I was staring out a window and said,
"What the HELL is wrong with you Alex? Jason says you've been ignoring him! I set you up with a great guy and this is how you repay me, you ignore him? You know you've been so different since high school. I know we're supposed to change and all that, but you have been so different since our Senior year...oh god, Alex, don't tell me you're hung up on who I think you are!" Riley said in disbelief.
"No it's not him, or at least I don't think it's him. It can't be, I'm stronger than that. I should be over him anyway, we both agreed that it was only logical to go our separate ways. There was no drama, it was plain and simple..." I said not fully convincing myself.
"Alex get your shit together and go talk to Jason, he thinks you're gonna break up with him or something. Believe it or not it is possible that you can have a new person who means something to you. You surely mean something to him cause he's stuck by you during all you incessant sulking. So at least show him some respect by talking this out. You're a big boy Alex, you're a junior in college, I really think you can handle your boy issues without me." Riley said while impatiently fiddling with her fiery hair.
I did not say anything. I knew Riley was right so I nodded and went to Jason's room.
When I arrived I heard Jason playing Cobra Starship, it was the band he always played when he wanted to be in a better mood. He was currently playing one of my favorites of theirs, "Hot Mess". I came in and Jason was determinedly rocking along to the beat.
"Oh! Hello there! I uh, I ummm." Jason squeaked.
"Haha, calm down Jason, I know you're upset, Riley told me. Also, you're playing Cobra which is a sure sign your mood needs improving." I said grinning despite myself.
"Oh, I didn't know you knew that about me...but that's beside the point. I am upset, you've been way to aloof for my liking. I feel like you're off on some distant planet, well that is when you're not buried in your schoolwork or off rehearsing for something. I hate to sound so needy Alex, but I'd like a little more attention." Jason said calmly. The Cobra had clearly helped his mood.
"No you're not being needy at all, you're completely right. I've been disgustingly moody. I've been too stuck in myself to realize it until now. I'm sorry. You've been a great boyfriend, better than I deserve by the way I've been treating you. I'm gonna be better I promise" I said.
"Oh, well that's very mature of you to say Alex. Thank you." Jason said.
Then I kissed him, just to see if I could feel that spark again, and also because Jason was adorable.
I surprised myself and him because I ignited our spark that day.
The rest of our time together was great.
Jason got me hooked on Cobra Starship,
I introduced him to Spring Awakening and some of Queen's less known, but still just as good songs.
We had a lot of fun together.
We spent whole nights just singing like idiots along with our favorite songs.
We also spent whole nights doing other things...that were quite nice. Jason was my first guy who I did 'those other things' with, and I was actually happy about that. He taught me a lot. No not just about 'those other things', but also about myself and how to have fun again.
I had forgotten what real fun was like for so long before Jason.
Maybe I had just lost it, and Jason had helped me find it.
But before we really decided to be very serious with our relationship, it was time for both of us to graduate.
It was not a sad parting.
I was happy for the time I had with Jason. He had brought me back from letting some of the more exciting years of my life slip away.
When I was in graduate school I got more into the club scene.
I do not mean the part of the club scene that involved lots of drugs and sex. I mean the part that was full of flashing lights, sweat and dancing.
I had never really tried anything except for the occasional sip of alcohol, and I never really wanted to try them.
And I was no slut, never was, never planned to be. There plenty of nice guys I knew who were into the whole casual sex thing, but I just did not want to bother with getting into that.
I wanted to know who it was I would be sleeping next to.
I did not date during graduate school at all, but it was because I was too busy. Not because I made myself too busy to forget Johnny. I was perfectly emotionally available, just not physically available.
I was too busy working at my school's master's/doctorate program to worry about a guy.
I was starting to understand what my parents had meant when they said the years go faster as you get older because before I knew it I had a job at a well respected practice in Boston and a decent apartment.
I did not go clubbing anymore, but I still had fun.
Riley stayed in Boston as well and she was doing quite well for herself as well.
She had a partner of two years who was the sweetest girl I had ever met.
She had beautiful brown hair and the kindest brown eyes.
Grace was perfect for Riley.
A couple years later they got married. I had my own practice and loft apartment in the same building.
I was so happy for Riley.
I was also lonely.
I was 33 and I had no one besides my Great Dane Dashel, Riley and Grace.
So I signed myself up for a gay dating site.
The first one was not for me, it was all about the sex.
I then tried a dating site that allowed me to specify who I wanted to date, it was not strictly gay.
I got matched up with some great guys, or so they seemed on paper.
When I met them in person they just were not for me.
I was old enough and experienced to just know if we could work out something good.
Now I know this sounds very businesslike, but to be fair at this point all I had really cared about was work and close friends. So I was used to a strictly business kind of lifestyle. You might think that a person who listens to people for a living and helps them with their problems would have more of a heart after practically mastering his craft, but I guess at that point I was just too emotionally worn out by my job to really be able to give past my psychological career.
After several more months of monotony and mediocre dates I told myself I needed a vacation. And I did, badly.
I originally thought Fire Island, partially for laughs but also because deep down I'm kind of a gay stereotype sometimes.
I eventually compromised on a gay singles cruise to Fiji
At this time I did not have have any particular needy patients so going on vacation was not a hassle at all. Also it was the first vacation I had ever taken in my career, my patients did not complain. The cruise was a very needed escape and Fiji was beautiful. But the beauty was not just in Fiji, but also in the hand that fate had dealt to me when I stepped on that boat.
It's funny how three words can mess with your psyche so much.
Before I knew it, it was lunchtime. I had never been so excited to see our school's dismal cafeteria.
"Over here!" Johnny shouted at me from across the room. I just sort of smiled and floated over to him. I noticed he had already gotten me a lunch.
"It's chicken patty today, don't worry I wouldn't have bought you one if it weren't, the rest of this shit in the cafeteria is nasty" He said grinning.
"Yup. So we definitely have to talk. Where do we stand here? I mean I know what we both said, and I know I mean it, and I'm pretty sure you mean it, but then you said you had more you wanted to say and so I got nervous and I really wish you'd stop me now..." I said as I eventually started talking into my lunch.
"Gladly. Now here's the thing. I did mean what I said. The only reason I have more to say is I want to explain all of what that means like you did, but maybe with a couple more breaths and a little slower" he said with a giggle, "You've given me the courage to not care about what anyone thinks about me, you've shown me just what it is to care for someone, you've shown me a side of myself I've neglected since I was a kid, sometimes to me you are the only person in the world, you're crazy talented, you've shown me what it's like for someone to actually care about you, you've helped me discover who I actually am. Because of all this and so much more this is why I love you Alex Harting"
"Kiss me. Now." I responded.
And we did. And we did not care about all the dirty looks we got from passers by or the buzz that came afterwards. As usual there was no one else in the world but us, but now we could have that feeling in public because Johnny had had the courage to stand up for himself and be honest.
The rest of that school year was bliss.
But then, Johnny had graduation.
He had gotten full ride at a great school, in California.
A little far from our resident upstate New York.
So the summer before he left, Johnny and I made the most of what we had left.
We had so much fun we almost forgot he was going across the country when it was all said and done.
Almost...
Then I had my senior year.
Johnny told me he would keep in touch, that we'd stay friends and see each other on the holidays.
For the most part we did, which hurt even more.
I didn't date anyone that year, I focused on my schoolwork and my extra-curriculars. Practically poured my everything in to them.
I had to find a way to get past the past and move on.
Then graduation came around for me.
Riley and I both got into an awesome college in Massachusetts. Her for forensics and me for Neuropsychology.
Once again I just focused on school and other things, Johnny was less on my mind, but ever present in the back of it.
I did not know if he would ever leave.
Guys had flirted with me at college, but I did not pay them much mind. If I ever got really lonely I might kiss one or two, just to make the loneliness go away.
There was one guy who I dated for about half a year who was quite nice. He was a sociology major named Jason. He had jet black hair, black rimmed glasses, chiseled features and icy blue eyes.
He was very nice to me.
But I could never explain to him why I was so distant all the time until one day Riley came up to me as I was staring out a window and said,
"What the HELL is wrong with you Alex? Jason says you've been ignoring him! I set you up with a great guy and this is how you repay me, you ignore him? You know you've been so different since high school. I know we're supposed to change and all that, but you have been so different since our Senior year...oh god, Alex, don't tell me you're hung up on who I think you are!" Riley said in disbelief.
"No it's not him, or at least I don't think it's him. It can't be, I'm stronger than that. I should be over him anyway, we both agreed that it was only logical to go our separate ways. There was no drama, it was plain and simple..." I said not fully convincing myself.
"Alex get your shit together and go talk to Jason, he thinks you're gonna break up with him or something. Believe it or not it is possible that you can have a new person who means something to you. You surely mean something to him cause he's stuck by you during all you incessant sulking. So at least show him some respect by talking this out. You're a big boy Alex, you're a junior in college, I really think you can handle your boy issues without me." Riley said while impatiently fiddling with her fiery hair.
I did not say anything. I knew Riley was right so I nodded and went to Jason's room.
When I arrived I heard Jason playing Cobra Starship, it was the band he always played when he wanted to be in a better mood. He was currently playing one of my favorites of theirs, "Hot Mess". I came in and Jason was determinedly rocking along to the beat.
"Oh! Hello there! I uh, I ummm." Jason squeaked.
"Haha, calm down Jason, I know you're upset, Riley told me. Also, you're playing Cobra which is a sure sign your mood needs improving." I said grinning despite myself.
"Oh, I didn't know you knew that about me...but that's beside the point. I am upset, you've been way to aloof for my liking. I feel like you're off on some distant planet, well that is when you're not buried in your schoolwork or off rehearsing for something. I hate to sound so needy Alex, but I'd like a little more attention." Jason said calmly. The Cobra had clearly helped his mood.
"No you're not being needy at all, you're completely right. I've been disgustingly moody. I've been too stuck in myself to realize it until now. I'm sorry. You've been a great boyfriend, better than I deserve by the way I've been treating you. I'm gonna be better I promise" I said.
"Oh, well that's very mature of you to say Alex. Thank you." Jason said.
Then I kissed him, just to see if I could feel that spark again, and also because Jason was adorable.
I surprised myself and him because I ignited our spark that day.
The rest of our time together was great.
Jason got me hooked on Cobra Starship,
I introduced him to Spring Awakening and some of Queen's less known, but still just as good songs.
We had a lot of fun together.
We spent whole nights just singing like idiots along with our favorite songs.
We also spent whole nights doing other things...that were quite nice. Jason was my first guy who I did 'those other things' with, and I was actually happy about that. He taught me a lot. No not just about 'those other things', but also about myself and how to have fun again.
I had forgotten what real fun was like for so long before Jason.
Maybe I had just lost it, and Jason had helped me find it.
But before we really decided to be very serious with our relationship, it was time for both of us to graduate.
It was not a sad parting.
I was happy for the time I had with Jason. He had brought me back from letting some of the more exciting years of my life slip away.
When I was in graduate school I got more into the club scene.
I do not mean the part of the club scene that involved lots of drugs and sex. I mean the part that was full of flashing lights, sweat and dancing.
I had never really tried anything except for the occasional sip of alcohol, and I never really wanted to try them.
And I was no slut, never was, never planned to be. There plenty of nice guys I knew who were into the whole casual sex thing, but I just did not want to bother with getting into that.
I wanted to know who it was I would be sleeping next to.
I did not date during graduate school at all, but it was because I was too busy. Not because I made myself too busy to forget Johnny. I was perfectly emotionally available, just not physically available.
I was too busy working at my school's master's/doctorate program to worry about a guy.
I was starting to understand what my parents had meant when they said the years go faster as you get older because before I knew it I had a job at a well respected practice in Boston and a decent apartment.
I did not go clubbing anymore, but I still had fun.
Riley stayed in Boston as well and she was doing quite well for herself as well.
She had a partner of two years who was the sweetest girl I had ever met.
She had beautiful brown hair and the kindest brown eyes.
Grace was perfect for Riley.
A couple years later they got married. I had my own practice and loft apartment in the same building.
I was so happy for Riley.
I was also lonely.
I was 33 and I had no one besides my Great Dane Dashel, Riley and Grace.
So I signed myself up for a gay dating site.
The first one was not for me, it was all about the sex.
I then tried a dating site that allowed me to specify who I wanted to date, it was not strictly gay.
I got matched up with some great guys, or so they seemed on paper.
When I met them in person they just were not for me.
I was old enough and experienced to just know if we could work out something good.
Now I know this sounds very businesslike, but to be fair at this point all I had really cared about was work and close friends. So I was used to a strictly business kind of lifestyle. You might think that a person who listens to people for a living and helps them with their problems would have more of a heart after practically mastering his craft, but I guess at that point I was just too emotionally worn out by my job to really be able to give past my psychological career.
After several more months of monotony and mediocre dates I told myself I needed a vacation. And I did, badly.
I originally thought Fire Island, partially for laughs but also because deep down I'm kind of a gay stereotype sometimes.
I eventually compromised on a gay singles cruise to Fiji
At this time I did not have have any particular needy patients so going on vacation was not a hassle at all. Also it was the first vacation I had ever taken in my career, my patients did not complain. The cruise was a very needed escape and Fiji was beautiful. But the beauty was not just in Fiji, but also in the hand that fate had dealt to me when I stepped on that boat.
Johnny was there, on the cruise. I saw him as we were boarding the ship but I did not say hi. I had no idea why I did not call to him. I wanted to but I just could not bring myself to do it. Maybe I did not want to seem like a fool or something. But fate would shove us even closer. At the "Romantic Evening" night we were partnered at a table.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me, this is just too surreal...Alex?" Johnny said with that same enchanting smile of his. He was dressed simply but beautifully, he had on a black shirt with an electric blue tie with a black jacket over it.
"Johnny!" was all I could manage. Even though I had known he was on the cruise, the fact that we were at the same table just made him all the more real again to me. I think my mind just sort of wanted me to pretend he had never even existed, but this instance brought everything back, all the feelings flooding all at once.
Before Johnny or I could say anymore I threw up.
"Jesus H. Christ! Are you OK Alex?" Johnny asked.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just...*urp*...feeling a little seasick." I said as I ran to the bathroom. I believe the rerun of my lunch was partially caused by my nerves and also by the wonderful flighty ocean. As I washed my face off Johnny stepped in.
"Are you sure you're OK? You seemed to get seasick right about when you saw me...I'm not sure whether I should be offended or the cooks." He said while tilting his head and chuckling ever so slightly. He was just like the boy I had fallen in love with so many years ago, but more refined and no longer a boy.
"I say we blame the cooks." I chuckled back.
"Right then, you up to dinner, or would you rather me walk you back to your room?" He said sounding like a perfect gentleman.
"Well why not both?" I said grinning at him. He made me feel like a horny teenager again.
"If I didn't know you better I'd think you were coming on to me!" Johnny said with bemused disbelief.
"Well apparently you have some more knowing to do, cause buddy your instincts were right." I said grinning even wider than before, "But dinner first"
It was miraculous, Johnny and I just sort of picked up where we left off in high school, sort of. We of course had tons of catching up to do. We talked a lot about school. A little about guys, but it seemed almost like Johnny had done something similar to me, he had focused heavily on his career and neglected to date very much. I kind of liked that. Johnny had studied pharmaceuticals and business and was now a pharmaceutical rep. We talked about so much more I'm not going to even bother listing it all.
"God you look great" Johnny said with an amazing smile. I just giggled and continued on with our small talk.
The dinner was great, it started with oysters went on to a truly amazing lobster bisque, then a fillet Mignon that was literally like butter. There was champagne that seemed to never end and chocolate covered strawberries at the very end. It was like the cooks we just waiting for everyone at their respective tables to start making out. Johnny and I clearly had that on our minds for we both were giving each other the very same look as on that fateful day up in his garage.
"How about I walk you back to your room hmm?" Johnny said still sounding like a perfect gentleman.
"I would love nothing more." I said. It was like he brought back all that odd teenage confidence that anything could happen and it was showing through. I had not felt so great for a long while. "Here we are, my humble abode." I said as I went in to my room and went to close my door in a teasing manner.
"You think I'm gonna let you get rid of me that fast?" Johnny said in a steamy voice.
"Well I hoped you wouldn't." I said in an equally steamy voice. I then flopped down on the bed of my room. Johnny flopped down next to me and looked straight into my eyes and said,
"You are so beautiful in so many ways, I will never understand why we lost touch, well other than the obscene distance between us." Johnny said quietly and sweetly.
I could not come up with words to describe how I felt at that moment so I used my actions instead. I kissed him just like that day when we were working out when we were kids, with just as much passion and emotion. It was bliss. then johnny was taking of his shoes and his jacket. I was doing the same. Before we got any farther Johnny asked,
"Wait do you have a..."
"Of course I do. Are you kidding me? They have them by the dozens in the droors. It's a gay singles cruise, what do you expect?" I said as I took off his tie and ripped off his shirt, "Sorry about that, I've wanted to do that since high school."
"Likewise" Johnny said mimicking me.
Then:
Belts.
Pants.
Push.
Pull.
Sweat.
Groan.
Fireworks.
I woke up the next day with Johnny spooning me. I would have squeaked out of joy but I was a little too old for that and I did not want to wake up Johnny. Instead I just sat and felt his warmth mingling with mine as I saw out of the window a beautiful green island approaching our ship. Then a familiar sound,
GROOOWWWWWMMMMNNNNNAAAAAA "Huh? Oh Jesus I'm hungry, can we please get room service?" Johnny asked as he rubbed his stomach and the sleep out of his eyes.
"Of course" I responded. We enjoyed some wonderful croissants with exotic jams. Also some chocolate covered strawberries that looked leftover from the previous night. We did not care they were delightful all the same.
We spent the entire day on the beach and the entire night in my room. We did not sleep much that night.
There was a swing dance on the last day. Johnny and I learned some basic steps which we were able to do quite well. We tried some more complicated and just ended up on our butts. We laughed a lot. They gave the crowd some time for a slow dance or two. That night we discussed what we were to do after the cruise was over. Johnny of course had the best solution ever.
"I know what I can do, my company is opening up a new branch out in Boston. I can ask if I can get transferred. They need at least 20 people to leave my company anyhow for the Boston branch." Johnny said with a cute and determined smile.
"Yes! Absolutely! I know this is all so sudden, but would you like to skip the trouble of finding a place and just move in with me?" I asked sheepishly.
"That's kind of what I hoped to do." Johnny said grinning.
"Isn't this all a little too sudden?" I said, doubting myself.
"No Alex, it's not, I was miserable without you. I buried myself in my schoolwork business so I could forget you. For a time it worked and I thought I could find someone new, but then you showed up and it was all so clear. It's always been you Johnny." He said as he grabbed my hands.
"My god I love you, your a prince you know that?" I said.
Johnny made an eeping sound that one would never expect to hear from a very suave looking 30 year old.
A month later Johnny had moved in. We had so much fun and so much, oh, well you know.
Then before we knew it a year had passed, and another. Then Johnny was waiting for me in his suit. A little black box in his hand with a note in it that said "Be mine? Oh also, you'll have to find me."
I kissed and him screamed, "YES! Now where is the ring?!"
"Briefcase, I hid it there earlier, I hoped you might find it during the day with the note attached, but I knew you were busy today so I had a perfectly awesome plan B" Johnny said with a grin.
We are getting married tomorrow on some distant shore. I could not be happier.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
What Came to Be...Part 7
Lyssa King was the Queen of all bitches, and up until three months or so before Johnny and I were together Johnny was under her lock and key.
He followed her around like a wounded animal, it had been a painful sight to see.
I like to think that Johnny had been with her because he saw some good in her, but could have also been because she was the self proclaimed hottest girl in the school.
All the girls wanted to be her, and everyone hated her including the boys.
To imagine how exponentially awful this she-devil was, imagine the Queen Bitch at your high school, multiply her bitchiness by itself, and you roughly have the amount of bitchiness Lyssa had on a good day.
If you have not gathered this yet, she was absolutely rotten to the very core.
She ruled the school with and iron, well manicured fist.
At the point Johnny and I were together, she was still griping about him breaking up with her to all who would bother to hear.
And one day she saw Johnny and I kiss in his car as we left school, but neither of us were aware until it was altogether to late.
A week later after Lyssa had spotted us people at the school kept giving me and Johnny dirty looks.
"Did you say anything to anyone?" Johnny asked me during Glee rehearsal. I did not want to lie to him, so I said,
"Yes. Riley Gagne and Miss Madeline, but I already talked to both and they said haven't told a soul."
"Are you sure, because some one clearly knows. One of the guys on the team called me a faggot for no reason today, it sucked. Also we both have been getting looks from everyone here in the room if you haven't noticed." Johnny said with a slight edge.
"First of all I can tell you're mad I didn't say anything to you about Riley or Miss Madeline and I'm sorry, I was gonna say something. They are both very trustworthy, you don't have to worry about them, I know they didn't say anything. Also maybe someone just started a rumor, we have been hanging out a lot, leaving school together, you haven't dated anyone lately and also we made out in the parking lot." I explained.
"Yeah, you've got a point, We haven't been as careful as I had planned. I just don't know what to do, what if someone saw us in the parking lot last week? I swore it was empty, but who knows...ugh I feel sick." Johnny said.
"Boys, are you even practicing the routine?" Miss Madeline shouted at us from the other side of the chorus room.
"Sorry!" We both said at the same time. Everyone was looking at us for some reason, they weren't even trying to hide the looks they were giving us.
And that is when I realized who was behind it all as I saw Lyssa whispering to another Glee member and then glaring at Johnny and me. I realized she must have seen us the week we kissed in the parking lot. I did not know how she had seen it, but I just knew it was her. Only someone as unnaturally evil as her could have pulled that.
"Johnny, it's Lyssa, she must have seen us somehow, I don't know how, but she did. This is exactly something that bitch would do." I said with venom I did not know I possessed.
"Shit. shit...SHIT. Alex! This is not good! That makes so much sense too. She's the only one with the kind of pure unadulterated evil in her heart to spread a rumor to the entire school in such a short period of time." Johnny said. He sounded as if he had just come down with the flu.
"We've just gotta stay calm and play dumb. If we don't act guilty the rumor will just die off. I've seen it work thousands of times." I said in my calmest voice possible.
"Ok I trust you, but we gotta lay low for a little while OK? So maybe your parents could drive you to my house or something, and we keep our kissing strictly to my house." Johnny said with a tremor in his voice.
"Yeah of course." I said without really listening. My mind was on Lyssa and how to keep Johnny safe from her. It kept me up all night, and Johnny too. We just texted each other while we waited for the night to become early morning which despite the circumstances was quite nice. It showed me that we could talk anytime about anything.
I came into school the next morning feeling quite good despite Lyssa's adversity.
Until I spotted the fliers all over the floor.
They had no words on them,
just one picture.
It was of me and Johnny kissing in his car.
It was then I realized Lyssa was not the spawn of Satan, she was the second coming of the Beelzebub himself.
She did not write a thing on the fliers so she could not get her in trouble with the for saying something negative about us and there was no way to prove it was her.
I then remembered my friends in high places. More specifically Riley who was an avid member of the 'Future CSI's' club.
before I could open up my phone to text her and ask her if I could borrow her fingerprinting equipment I received a text from Johnny
"Have you seen the fliers?" he asked
"Yes I responded. Are you OK?" I asked
"I don't know..." He responded.
I grabbed a couple of fliers and headed over to the Chem labs. I was in luck for that particular day was also the day that the 'Future CSI's' club had its meeting.
"I need you guys to do something for me..." I asked.
When I told Riley of the situation and she explained it to the club, and they went to work. They printed me, matched them up with the ones on the fliers and found one other set of prints. Then Riley quickly sprinted to the girls locker room and pulled the prints off of Lyssa's gym locker.
"It's a match" Riley told me with a wonderful little grin.
"Yeah, but how do we make her pay?" I asked.
"Well it's pretty simple actually, whoever spread the sheets around the school was littering, vandalizing, because she had pasted some to the wall and did not get permission from the school to put up fliers. You can at the least get her a week of detentions." said a more Law minded FCSI.
"Good job Hank." Riley said with the same venom that was in my voice the previous night.
"Alright now go Alex, and find him, Johnny probably needs you more than he needs you to get back at Lyssa. We'll take care of it, Hank will have the administration on that bitches ass like white on fucking rice." Riley said with increased venom.
"I've said this before, and I will most likely say it again. Riley Gagne, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" I said over my shoulder as I ran out the door and texted Johnny a hurried "Where R U?"
"My homeroom, room 316. Please get here fast..." he texted back
I ran faster than I had ever ran before because for once my stupid high school drama for once actually meant something to me. Then I saw him waiting for me in the halls. He said everyone had been asking him about the fliers
I then explained what I had Riley do for us.
"Oh, Alex, that wasn't necessary." Johnny said, keeping his modesty, even when he was at his lowest.
"It was Johnny. It was for you. You deserve the world and more. Despite our odd arrangement, you've been the best boyfriend I've ever had. You mean so much to me, you always say good morning and goodnight, you look at me as if I am the only person on this earth, you have awesome taste in movies, music and clothes, you are quite possibly the most attractive guy I have ever kissed and you treat as if I'm the same way, you hug me close and tight, and I...I love you Johnny Tracer. Goddammit I told myself I wouldn't let that happen, but I love you so goddamn much and I don't give a shit who knows and I hope you feel the same, but in some ways that doesn't even matter because it won't change how I feel about you, no matter how messed up that is..." I said entirely too loudly.
"FUCKING QUEERS!" a jock yelled at us from two feet away.
"Go away now Tommy, this has nothing to do with you..." Johnny said in the most icy tone I had ever heard in my life.
"What the fuck are you gonna do about it ya fairy?" Tommy spat back.
"This." Johnny said while grabbing Tommy's neck and slamming his head into a locker. Lucky for Johnny, there were no teachers around to see his assault or the few kicks that followed and Tommy was too proud to admit he had just gotten his ass handed to him by a gay guy.
Then amidst the gasps from the crowd in the hallway, Johnny kissed me right there, in front of everyone. He then gave me one of the best hugs ever. It was as if he said I love you a thousand times with those three quick actions, yet while everyone in the hallway was buzzing about us Johnny whispered into my ear, "I love you too Alex, and I don't care what anyone thinks about it."
I cried my first real tears of joy that day, all because of Johnny.
"I'll talk to you at lunch OK? I've still got a lot to say and explain. Text me if you like but I'm saving most of what I have to say for lunch." He said with a smile.
"OK" was all I could manage to say without getting overly emotional.
The boy I had been secret dating for months, was no longer a secret anymore, he didn't care, and also, he loved me. I was on top of the world.
He followed her around like a wounded animal, it had been a painful sight to see.
I like to think that Johnny had been with her because he saw some good in her, but could have also been because she was the self proclaimed hottest girl in the school.
All the girls wanted to be her, and everyone hated her including the boys.
To imagine how exponentially awful this she-devil was, imagine the Queen Bitch at your high school, multiply her bitchiness by itself, and you roughly have the amount of bitchiness Lyssa had on a good day.
If you have not gathered this yet, she was absolutely rotten to the very core.
She ruled the school with and iron, well manicured fist.
At the point Johnny and I were together, she was still griping about him breaking up with her to all who would bother to hear.
And one day she saw Johnny and I kiss in his car as we left school, but neither of us were aware until it was altogether to late.
A week later after Lyssa had spotted us people at the school kept giving me and Johnny dirty looks.
"Did you say anything to anyone?" Johnny asked me during Glee rehearsal. I did not want to lie to him, so I said,
"Yes. Riley Gagne and Miss Madeline, but I already talked to both and they said haven't told a soul."
"Are you sure, because some one clearly knows. One of the guys on the team called me a faggot for no reason today, it sucked. Also we both have been getting looks from everyone here in the room if you haven't noticed." Johnny said with a slight edge.
"First of all I can tell you're mad I didn't say anything to you about Riley or Miss Madeline and I'm sorry, I was gonna say something. They are both very trustworthy, you don't have to worry about them, I know they didn't say anything. Also maybe someone just started a rumor, we have been hanging out a lot, leaving school together, you haven't dated anyone lately and also we made out in the parking lot." I explained.
"Yeah, you've got a point, We haven't been as careful as I had planned. I just don't know what to do, what if someone saw us in the parking lot last week? I swore it was empty, but who knows...ugh I feel sick." Johnny said.
"Boys, are you even practicing the routine?" Miss Madeline shouted at us from the other side of the chorus room.
"Sorry!" We both said at the same time. Everyone was looking at us for some reason, they weren't even trying to hide the looks they were giving us.
And that is when I realized who was behind it all as I saw Lyssa whispering to another Glee member and then glaring at Johnny and me. I realized she must have seen us the week we kissed in the parking lot. I did not know how she had seen it, but I just knew it was her. Only someone as unnaturally evil as her could have pulled that.
"Johnny, it's Lyssa, she must have seen us somehow, I don't know how, but she did. This is exactly something that bitch would do." I said with venom I did not know I possessed.
"Shit. shit...SHIT. Alex! This is not good! That makes so much sense too. She's the only one with the kind of pure unadulterated evil in her heart to spread a rumor to the entire school in such a short period of time." Johnny said. He sounded as if he had just come down with the flu.
"We've just gotta stay calm and play dumb. If we don't act guilty the rumor will just die off. I've seen it work thousands of times." I said in my calmest voice possible.
"Ok I trust you, but we gotta lay low for a little while OK? So maybe your parents could drive you to my house or something, and we keep our kissing strictly to my house." Johnny said with a tremor in his voice.
"Yeah of course." I said without really listening. My mind was on Lyssa and how to keep Johnny safe from her. It kept me up all night, and Johnny too. We just texted each other while we waited for the night to become early morning which despite the circumstances was quite nice. It showed me that we could talk anytime about anything.
I came into school the next morning feeling quite good despite Lyssa's adversity.
Until I spotted the fliers all over the floor.
They had no words on them,
just one picture.
It was of me and Johnny kissing in his car.
It was then I realized Lyssa was not the spawn of Satan, she was the second coming of the Beelzebub himself.
She did not write a thing on the fliers so she could not get her in trouble with the for saying something negative about us and there was no way to prove it was her.
I then remembered my friends in high places. More specifically Riley who was an avid member of the 'Future CSI's' club.
before I could open up my phone to text her and ask her if I could borrow her fingerprinting equipment I received a text from Johnny
"Have you seen the fliers?" he asked
"Yes I responded. Are you OK?" I asked
"I don't know..." He responded.
I grabbed a couple of fliers and headed over to the Chem labs. I was in luck for that particular day was also the day that the 'Future CSI's' club had its meeting.
"I need you guys to do something for me..." I asked.
When I told Riley of the situation and she explained it to the club, and they went to work. They printed me, matched them up with the ones on the fliers and found one other set of prints. Then Riley quickly sprinted to the girls locker room and pulled the prints off of Lyssa's gym locker.
"It's a match" Riley told me with a wonderful little grin.
"Yeah, but how do we make her pay?" I asked.
"Well it's pretty simple actually, whoever spread the sheets around the school was littering, vandalizing, because she had pasted some to the wall and did not get permission from the school to put up fliers. You can at the least get her a week of detentions." said a more Law minded FCSI.
"Good job Hank." Riley said with the same venom that was in my voice the previous night.
"Alright now go Alex, and find him, Johnny probably needs you more than he needs you to get back at Lyssa. We'll take care of it, Hank will have the administration on that bitches ass like white on fucking rice." Riley said with increased venom.
"I've said this before, and I will most likely say it again. Riley Gagne, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" I said over my shoulder as I ran out the door and texted Johnny a hurried "Where R U?"
"My homeroom, room 316. Please get here fast..." he texted back
I ran faster than I had ever ran before because for once my stupid high school drama for once actually meant something to me. Then I saw him waiting for me in the halls. He said everyone had been asking him about the fliers
I then explained what I had Riley do for us.
"Oh, Alex, that wasn't necessary." Johnny said, keeping his modesty, even when he was at his lowest.
"It was Johnny. It was for you. You deserve the world and more. Despite our odd arrangement, you've been the best boyfriend I've ever had. You mean so much to me, you always say good morning and goodnight, you look at me as if I am the only person on this earth, you have awesome taste in movies, music and clothes, you are quite possibly the most attractive guy I have ever kissed and you treat as if I'm the same way, you hug me close and tight, and I...I love you Johnny Tracer. Goddammit I told myself I wouldn't let that happen, but I love you so goddamn much and I don't give a shit who knows and I hope you feel the same, but in some ways that doesn't even matter because it won't change how I feel about you, no matter how messed up that is..." I said entirely too loudly.
"FUCKING QUEERS!" a jock yelled at us from two feet away.
"Go away now Tommy, this has nothing to do with you..." Johnny said in the most icy tone I had ever heard in my life.
"What the fuck are you gonna do about it ya fairy?" Tommy spat back.
"This." Johnny said while grabbing Tommy's neck and slamming his head into a locker. Lucky for Johnny, there were no teachers around to see his assault or the few kicks that followed and Tommy was too proud to admit he had just gotten his ass handed to him by a gay guy.
Then amidst the gasps from the crowd in the hallway, Johnny kissed me right there, in front of everyone. He then gave me one of the best hugs ever. It was as if he said I love you a thousand times with those three quick actions, yet while everyone in the hallway was buzzing about us Johnny whispered into my ear, "I love you too Alex, and I don't care what anyone thinks about it."
I cried my first real tears of joy that day, all because of Johnny.
"I'll talk to you at lunch OK? I've still got a lot to say and explain. Text me if you like but I'm saving most of what I have to say for lunch." He said with a smile.
"OK" was all I could manage to say without getting overly emotional.
The boy I had been secret dating for months, was no longer a secret anymore, he didn't care, and also, he loved me. I was on top of the world.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
What Came to Be...Part 6
I ran to the soccer field as fast as I ever had. I was not quite sure why I had the need for the urgency, but I guess we all have to run as if we believe we are in an epic romance sometimes. Then, there he was striding up and down the soccer field, practically glowing. I watched whatever drill it was he and the team were doing and when they were done I called to him. Johnny came over and asked me, "What's up man?"
"Not much I kind of just anted to watch you at practice. I know it's weird, but yeah...also I just want you to know I really am OK with our whole 'arrangement' and that I really do understand where you're coming from. I'm only saying this because I'm pretty sure I was not very convincing when I first said this to you. I didn't really believe it myself, but I didn't want to upset you. You're an awesome guy, so I didn't want to leave you with my half-hearted response from the other day." I said, with a surprisingly good pace for myself.
"Oh, thank you Alex. That means a lot, cause I was kind of feeling bad about it. I just can't really see any other option right now. I'm sure I'll be able to ease into something else now, but for now I think I'd more like to go on with what we're doing. Yeah, so that makes me feel a lot better. OK, now I can't kiss you right here for obvious reasons even though I kind of want to, but would a bro-hug suffice until later tonight?" He said with a smile that kind of grew with every sentence.
"That sounds great, I'd love one." I said.
We hugged and then he went back to practice.
Later that night we got a lot more rehearsing in than I thought we would.
By this I mean that we matched each hour of talking or making out with an hour of rehearsal. We would have many awesome nights like this thanks to duets from Glee, but I am getting ahead of myself.
Once it got to be around eight that night Johnny said, "Woah dude, you hear that?"
"Hear what?" I asked.
"My stomach, I'm mad hungry." Johnny said.
I then heard a sound that went something like "GROOOWWWWMMMMNNAAAAA" coming from the vicinity of Johnny's digestive tract.
"Woah, so we need food, like, now" I said.
"I think pizza is what I crave, and a movie. They are quite a good coupling. We luckily have one of those awesome freezer pizza things ready to go. I'll go put that in the oven and you pick out a movie from the cabinet over there" he said while gesturing over to a large black wood cabinet.
I opened it. It was like a library of every awesome movie you have ever seen, and have not seen. I wanted to pick a Disney movie to be all cute, but then something much more important caught my eye.
Mean Girls, my absolute favorite.
It was smack dab in the middle of all the movies.
Johnny came out to see what I had picked and the moment he saw what I picked, he kissed me.
DING!
"You're awesome. This movie is my absolute favorite. Dude, it's like you're in my head sometimes." he said after a wonderful kiss.
"Likewise" I replied. The oven's noise making could not have conveyed my feelings any better.
"The oven's ready. I'll go put in the pizza and then we'll start the movie." He said.
"You got it." I said as I just lied on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. It was not quite like me, but Johnny sort of just made me feel so surreal. He brought out the more relaxed side of myself that I would usually rarely let out. I loved that about him.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Johnny asked me, tilting his head ever so slightly.
"Oh nothing." I said.
"Oh come on, there is something on your mind. No one just stares up at a ceiling for no reason, well except for maybe me, but that's because I can be kind of an airhead sometimes..." Johnny said.
"Fine, you're right. I was just wondering, why are you're parents never here Johnny? Not that I mind, I was just wondering." I asked. I was only half lying. It had been on my mind, simply not at that specific moment.
"Oh well...they just work a lot. It's kind of always been that way. I guess I'm just used to it so I kind of forgot to explain." He responded with a very despondent look on his face.
"Oh Johnny, I'm sorry, that must really suck." I said. I grabbed his hand.
"I won't lie. It does, but I guess I've gotten used to it. They've pretty much been workaholics ever since I was born. I was closer with my nanny than I was them..." He said. He looked as if he were about to say more but then he changed where he was going. "Can I have a hug?"
"Of course"
Then he held me so tight, and I returned the gesture. We stayed that way for a while. We stayed like that long enough for the pizza to be done. During that period I could swear I heard him sniffle a couple of times, but I just held him. He need me that moment, and I was ready to take him with open arms. I felt as if the world had just melted away and it was just me and him and no one else.
Once the pizza went off I just softly whispered, "I'm pretty hungry. We probably shouldn't let that pizza burn."
He chuckled, sounding relieved, wiped his eyes and went to get the pizza.
That boy never failed to surprise me. He seemed so macho and like such a bro at school but when we were alone, he was just himself.
Johnny brought out two gigantic slices of pizza. They smelled heavenly. Then we started the movie and Johnny surprised me once more.
He was lying down on the couch and I looked quite confused for I was not quite sure of where I should sit. Johnny then said, "What are looking around for, come over here and sit with me!"
Johnny wanted me to cuddle with him. I was blown away. It is really a small gesture, but then it meant the world to me. I never wanted to eat pizza anywhere else except in his arms.
We had many nights like this that week. Rehearsing, kissing, talking, rehearsing some more, making dinner, watching a movie and cuddling until my parents called for me to come home.
When we performed "Somebody to Love" we knocked it out of the park. Everyone was clapping including the people who realized they should have rehearsed more.
We both got in to the Glee Club and we had many more nights like those during that wonderful week.
It would have been perfect if it were not for one thing.
I say thing because I cannot possibly call her a person for what she did Johnny. If there has ever been one person I have ever hated in my life, it was that spawn of Satan bitch Lyssa.
What she did was unspeakable and vindictive to the very core.
"Not much I kind of just anted to watch you at practice. I know it's weird, but yeah...also I just want you to know I really am OK with our whole 'arrangement' and that I really do understand where you're coming from. I'm only saying this because I'm pretty sure I was not very convincing when I first said this to you. I didn't really believe it myself, but I didn't want to upset you. You're an awesome guy, so I didn't want to leave you with my half-hearted response from the other day." I said, with a surprisingly good pace for myself.
"Oh, thank you Alex. That means a lot, cause I was kind of feeling bad about it. I just can't really see any other option right now. I'm sure I'll be able to ease into something else now, but for now I think I'd more like to go on with what we're doing. Yeah, so that makes me feel a lot better. OK, now I can't kiss you right here for obvious reasons even though I kind of want to, but would a bro-hug suffice until later tonight?" He said with a smile that kind of grew with every sentence.
"That sounds great, I'd love one." I said.
We hugged and then he went back to practice.
Later that night we got a lot more rehearsing in than I thought we would.
By this I mean that we matched each hour of talking or making out with an hour of rehearsal. We would have many awesome nights like this thanks to duets from Glee, but I am getting ahead of myself.
Once it got to be around eight that night Johnny said, "Woah dude, you hear that?"
"Hear what?" I asked.
"My stomach, I'm mad hungry." Johnny said.
I then heard a sound that went something like "GROOOWWWWMMMMNNAAAAA" coming from the vicinity of Johnny's digestive tract.
"Woah, so we need food, like, now" I said.
"I think pizza is what I crave, and a movie. They are quite a good coupling. We luckily have one of those awesome freezer pizza things ready to go. I'll go put that in the oven and you pick out a movie from the cabinet over there" he said while gesturing over to a large black wood cabinet.
I opened it. It was like a library of every awesome movie you have ever seen, and have not seen. I wanted to pick a Disney movie to be all cute, but then something much more important caught my eye.
Mean Girls, my absolute favorite.
It was smack dab in the middle of all the movies.
Johnny came out to see what I had picked and the moment he saw what I picked, he kissed me.
DING!
"You're awesome. This movie is my absolute favorite. Dude, it's like you're in my head sometimes." he said after a wonderful kiss.
"Likewise" I replied. The oven's noise making could not have conveyed my feelings any better.
"The oven's ready. I'll go put in the pizza and then we'll start the movie." He said.
"You got it." I said as I just lied on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. It was not quite like me, but Johnny sort of just made me feel so surreal. He brought out the more relaxed side of myself that I would usually rarely let out. I loved that about him.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Johnny asked me, tilting his head ever so slightly.
"Oh nothing." I said.
"Oh come on, there is something on your mind. No one just stares up at a ceiling for no reason, well except for maybe me, but that's because I can be kind of an airhead sometimes..." Johnny said.
"Fine, you're right. I was just wondering, why are you're parents never here Johnny? Not that I mind, I was just wondering." I asked. I was only half lying. It had been on my mind, simply not at that specific moment.
"Oh well...they just work a lot. It's kind of always been that way. I guess I'm just used to it so I kind of forgot to explain." He responded with a very despondent look on his face.
"Oh Johnny, I'm sorry, that must really suck." I said. I grabbed his hand.
"I won't lie. It does, but I guess I've gotten used to it. They've pretty much been workaholics ever since I was born. I was closer with my nanny than I was them..." He said. He looked as if he were about to say more but then he changed where he was going. "Can I have a hug?"
"Of course"
Then he held me so tight, and I returned the gesture. We stayed that way for a while. We stayed like that long enough for the pizza to be done. During that period I could swear I heard him sniffle a couple of times, but I just held him. He need me that moment, and I was ready to take him with open arms. I felt as if the world had just melted away and it was just me and him and no one else.
Once the pizza went off I just softly whispered, "I'm pretty hungry. We probably shouldn't let that pizza burn."
He chuckled, sounding relieved, wiped his eyes and went to get the pizza.
That boy never failed to surprise me. He seemed so macho and like such a bro at school but when we were alone, he was just himself.
Johnny brought out two gigantic slices of pizza. They smelled heavenly. Then we started the movie and Johnny surprised me once more.
He was lying down on the couch and I looked quite confused for I was not quite sure of where I should sit. Johnny then said, "What are looking around for, come over here and sit with me!"
Johnny wanted me to cuddle with him. I was blown away. It is really a small gesture, but then it meant the world to me. I never wanted to eat pizza anywhere else except in his arms.
We had many nights like this that week. Rehearsing, kissing, talking, rehearsing some more, making dinner, watching a movie and cuddling until my parents called for me to come home.
When we performed "Somebody to Love" we knocked it out of the park. Everyone was clapping including the people who realized they should have rehearsed more.
We both got in to the Glee Club and we had many more nights like those during that wonderful week.
It would have been perfect if it were not for one thing.
I say thing because I cannot possibly call her a person for what she did Johnny. If there has ever been one person I have ever hated in my life, it was that spawn of Satan bitch Lyssa.
What she did was unspeakable and vindictive to the very core.
Monday, June 7, 2010
What Came to Be... Part 5
For the first time in a while, I had actually written in my journal. I guess that year I had told myself "oh, well I'm a junior now, I don't need silly juvenile things such as journal'. When the whole thing with Johnny started, I discovered I did not need it, but wanted it.
First thing I did was laugh my ass off at how ridiculous I sounded when I was a freshman.
Then I wrote, about him, it went something like this
"Dear Journal,
I do believe I am falling the hardest I ever have in my life. This is not necessarily always a bad thing, but knowing my history and this current situation I am in, it is most certainly not good.
Hell, I've only know this boy for about a week...but we kissed, and it was wonderful. He looks at me like I am a prince or something...
Oh yeah, I forgot the bad thing...
Up until we kissed I thought he was straight,
but I was feeling rather ambitious, and well he looked so hot lifting, and, well, there was quite possibly a wonderful meeting of the lips reserved only for those epic tales of romance.
Damn, I got off track again, and I did have something else to say.
Johnny is not sure about coming out yet. Which I've told myself is perfectly reasonable, but for some reason my stupid brain won't shut up and stop telling me 'be careful Alex, you know how a closet case can be'
and I do
I was one once
but I want to trust him
but logic dictates I should keep the emotional distance equivalent to Siberia
but I'm aiming more for his backyard.
This scares me, a lot.
Now as I've been ranting I wonder, why the hell have I not told this to the wonderful and magical Riley Gagne?
The answer is my head has been so messed up that I forgot to tell my best friend about my latest crush"
So after this gush session with the pages close to my adolescent heart, I had this same gush session with my awesome redheaded best friend for life, Riley Gagne.
It's hard to describe Riley, she is crazy, hilarious, magical, hardworking, insanely talented, bisexual (so she can get where I come from sometimes) and one of the most awesome friends a person could have.
"Shut. The Fuck. Up." was all Riley said for a while.
"And?"
"YOU KISSED JOHNNY TRACER? YOU LUCKY S.O.B., WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET THE GOOD ONES?"
"Riley, calm yourself. I hope you realize you pretty much just spoke in caps lock." I said with my ears ringing.
"Jesus boy. He was really just like 'hey you wanna come over to my place?'" Riley said, her disbelief not the least bit hidden. That's what I loved about her, I always knew where I stood with her, well accept for that time she pretended to cry and I at first knew she was kidding, but then was so good at it I thought something was wrong.
"Don't just sit there with your gob catching flies! I want to know it all my friend! Give me the juicy deets!" She interrogated.
"I told you everything that has happened. We kissed, we talked about it, he wants to stay with me but doesn't want to talk about it, which is driving me crazy and now we're gonna sing Queen together."
"Tender"
"Oh come one Riley, is that all?"
"I'm not quite quite seeing what you're getting at here." she said with a smirk.
"Are you really going to make me beg?"
she just grinned in a fashion similar to that of the Joker in The Dark Knight.
"Ugh, fine. RILEY PLEASE I NEED YOUR ADVICE ON THIS, MY BRAIN IS STUPID AND WON'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO!!!" I said.
I had practiced my groveling for when I knew I would have to take Riley's advice again after forsaking it two months before.
"Well since you asked so nicely. Here's what I think you should do. Keep going with it and keep your guard up, from what you described, he does care about you. Most guys would have ran with their tail between their legs after an encounter like yours, gay or straight. From what it seems like to me you've enchanted that boy enough to make him suppress his freak out and stick with you. Who can blame him, you are quite the schnazzy dresser."
"God I love you. It's like you live in my head sometimes. Once again I love you, I don't know how you know me better than I do. But now that you have clarified things for me, I should go and find Johnny." I said.
She just nodded like the good friend she was.
"Oh wait, one more thing, you have to tell me how you and Katie are doing later tonight OK? I have to meet this girl! She seems like such a sweety from what you've told me! I can't believe my best friend has had an awesome girlfriend for three months and I still haven't met her, really." I said as I kissed her on the forehead. It is what we did. We decided that because I was gay and could not be her boyfriend, I had to kiss her everyday. Which I did not mind, she was like a sister so it was not weird.
"Go! Maybe you'll catch him all sweaty on the soccer field if you hurry!" Riley said giggling maniacally.
The craziest thing was that that was kind of what I was thinking at the the time among other things.
A thousand other things.
First thing I did was laugh my ass off at how ridiculous I sounded when I was a freshman.
Then I wrote, about him, it went something like this
"Dear Journal,
I do believe I am falling the hardest I ever have in my life. This is not necessarily always a bad thing, but knowing my history and this current situation I am in, it is most certainly not good.
Hell, I've only know this boy for about a week...but we kissed, and it was wonderful. He looks at me like I am a prince or something...
Oh yeah, I forgot the bad thing...
Up until we kissed I thought he was straight,
but I was feeling rather ambitious, and well he looked so hot lifting, and, well, there was quite possibly a wonderful meeting of the lips reserved only for those epic tales of romance.
Damn, I got off track again, and I did have something else to say.
Johnny is not sure about coming out yet. Which I've told myself is perfectly reasonable, but for some reason my stupid brain won't shut up and stop telling me 'be careful Alex, you know how a closet case can be'
and I do
I was one once
but I want to trust him
but logic dictates I should keep the emotional distance equivalent to Siberia
but I'm aiming more for his backyard.
This scares me, a lot.
Now as I've been ranting I wonder, why the hell have I not told this to the wonderful and magical Riley Gagne?
The answer is my head has been so messed up that I forgot to tell my best friend about my latest crush"
So after this gush session with the pages close to my adolescent heart, I had this same gush session with my awesome redheaded best friend for life, Riley Gagne.
It's hard to describe Riley, she is crazy, hilarious, magical, hardworking, insanely talented, bisexual (so she can get where I come from sometimes) and one of the most awesome friends a person could have.
"Shut. The Fuck. Up." was all Riley said for a while.
"And?"
"YOU KISSED JOHNNY TRACER? YOU LUCKY S.O.B., WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET THE GOOD ONES?"
"Riley, calm yourself. I hope you realize you pretty much just spoke in caps lock." I said with my ears ringing.
"Jesus boy. He was really just like 'hey you wanna come over to my place?'" Riley said, her disbelief not the least bit hidden. That's what I loved about her, I always knew where I stood with her, well accept for that time she pretended to cry and I at first knew she was kidding, but then was so good at it I thought something was wrong.
"Don't just sit there with your gob catching flies! I want to know it all my friend! Give me the juicy deets!" She interrogated.
"I told you everything that has happened. We kissed, we talked about it, he wants to stay with me but doesn't want to talk about it, which is driving me crazy and now we're gonna sing Queen together."
"Tender"
"Oh come one Riley, is that all?"
"I'm not quite quite seeing what you're getting at here." she said with a smirk.
"Are you really going to make me beg?"
she just grinned in a fashion similar to that of the Joker in The Dark Knight.
"Ugh, fine. RILEY PLEASE I NEED YOUR ADVICE ON THIS, MY BRAIN IS STUPID AND WON'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO!!!" I said.
I had practiced my groveling for when I knew I would have to take Riley's advice again after forsaking it two months before.
"Well since you asked so nicely. Here's what I think you should do. Keep going with it and keep your guard up, from what you described, he does care about you. Most guys would have ran with their tail between their legs after an encounter like yours, gay or straight. From what it seems like to me you've enchanted that boy enough to make him suppress his freak out and stick with you. Who can blame him, you are quite the schnazzy dresser."
"God I love you. It's like you live in my head sometimes. Once again I love you, I don't know how you know me better than I do. But now that you have clarified things for me, I should go and find Johnny." I said.
She just nodded like the good friend she was.
"Oh wait, one more thing, you have to tell me how you and Katie are doing later tonight OK? I have to meet this girl! She seems like such a sweety from what you've told me! I can't believe my best friend has had an awesome girlfriend for three months and I still haven't met her, really." I said as I kissed her on the forehead. It is what we did. We decided that because I was gay and could not be her boyfriend, I had to kiss her everyday. Which I did not mind, she was like a sister so it was not weird.
"Go! Maybe you'll catch him all sweaty on the soccer field if you hurry!" Riley said giggling maniacally.
The craziest thing was that that was kind of what I was thinking at the the time among other things.
A thousand other things.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
What Came to Be...Part 4
The weekend had been a blur for me. I had a hard time convincing myself that Johnny really cared about me, even though he had proved it some ways that fateful saturday. He wanted to be with me, but he did not want to be open and honest about it with others. ALthough this sort of did make sense because discovering he liked me was also discovering he was gay, which is a very daunting discovery. Being gay is so far from easy. Now do not get me wrong, I would not change that part of myself for the world, but it certainly has made life harder for me, so I understood why Johnny was not quite ready to be loud and proud yet.
I mean who wants to have to worry about being called a 'faggot' by their own friends, just because they are finally being truthful with the one's they are close with?
Who wants those awful judgmental glances one gets just for hugging a good friend a little too long because they are 'that gay kid'?
Who wants to be misunderstood just because of a stupid three letter label?
Who wants to have to tell there parents that they are not how they thought they were?
but then again
Who wants to keep secrets fromt the ones we love?
Who cares about a three letter label?
Who wants to have friends we cannot hug for an obscene amount of time?
Who cares about what others think of how they are?
Who wants to have friends that would so easily insult them just because they end up being a bit different?
I knew I could not make Johnny come to whatever decision he was going to eventually make, even though I really wanted to try. It was because for once, a boy actually really mattered to me and I was so scared of losing that.
All of this was buzzing through my head after that Saturday. Before I knew it, it was monday. It was the day of Glee auditions.
I nailed my audition and so did Johnny, even though we never really got around to practicing his song. We both got a callback for Glee, we both went to look if we had gotten it at the same time and we were both so happy that we hugged quickly. Miss Madeline spotted this, and it would not have been much if she had not seen the way I was looking at him the previous week.
Once Johnny had gone away, she grabbed my arm and dragged me to the chorus room.
"Ok Alex, I know" Miss Madeline said flatly.
"Huh?" I said, trying to play dumb.
"I know you like that boy, a lot. Do not play dumb, I've already been through highschool so I've seen and done every trick in the book. I'm just making sure you know that it's probably not going to go anywhere Alex, he is as far as I know, straight correct?" Miss Madeline
"Well that's what I thought at first. Then he invited me over so we could work on his song for his audition and work out a little. I got there Saturday, we worked out a little. Then he asked me to spot him while he was bench pressing, and we just both looked eachother straight in the eye the entire time. Then I just went for it, I had him put the barbell back up, and I kissed him. Miss Madeline, the amazing thing is, he kissed me back. It was phenominal. We talked afterwards he says he is pretty sure he is gay because he's never felt anything like that with a girl. He also says he wants to keep hanging out, and I guess you could call it dating. But he doesn't want to tell anyone about it...but it does make sense considering no one comes out after about two days of knowing they are gay." I said with very few breaths.
"Oh, dear. That was quite a lot. So I guess maybe you are not being quite as silly as I thought you were. But still Alex you should be careful, I'd hate to see you get hurt. You're an awesome and talented kid. Just don't let it get out of hand OK? Oh also, we did NOT have this conversation, teacher's aren't really supposed to get into the student's business unless a student comes to them with a problem." Miss Madeline said.
"I'm trying to be careful, I really like him. And it kind of freaks me out for some reason, so I'm trying to be as careful as possible. And your secret is safe with me." I said half smiling. It was nice to know my teacher cared so much, it made her feel more like a friend that just happened to teach me about how to use my voice. It was very comforting.
The next day at callbacks Miss Madeline had alittle surprise for all of us.
"Ok, so I've decided that because if you get into Glee club you are going to have to work together so much, that the best way to showcase your talent for these callbacks are duets. You all have a week to find your partners, your duets, and rehearse them. The duets do not have to be a traditional duet, you can arrange a favorite piece of music into a duet if you wish. I just want to see what you all can do while having to make it work with another person. Go out and have fun with it! I'll se you all in a week!" Miss Madeline told all the Glee callbacks.
Durign this both Johnny and I looked at eachother and at the same time we mouthed to eachother "We have to do Queen." After Miss Madeline adressed us I asked him,
"but which songs? We've used some of the better ones already. Bicycle won't work. I like Fat Bottom Girls, but I don't think that will go over great." I said, scratching my head.
"What about Somebody to Love?" Johnny said.
"That, is, PERFECT!" I said, "I'll find the sheet music tonight and how about we get started with rehearsing it tomorrow at your house?"
"Sounds like a plan" Johnny said.
I was quite excited by the fact that Johnny suggested Somebody to Love because it was actually the first one I thought of for us to sing. I did not suggest it because I did not want to make Johnny think I wanted to broadcast what happened on Saturday to all the Glee callbacks, even though Somebody to Love probably only meant anything to us, or maybe just me.
I mean who wants to have to worry about being called a 'faggot' by their own friends, just because they are finally being truthful with the one's they are close with?
Who wants those awful judgmental glances one gets just for hugging a good friend a little too long because they are 'that gay kid'?
Who wants to be misunderstood just because of a stupid three letter label?
Who wants to have to tell there parents that they are not how they thought they were?
but then again
Who wants to keep secrets fromt the ones we love?
Who cares about a three letter label?
Who wants to have friends we cannot hug for an obscene amount of time?
Who cares about what others think of how they are?
Who wants to have friends that would so easily insult them just because they end up being a bit different?
I knew I could not make Johnny come to whatever decision he was going to eventually make, even though I really wanted to try. It was because for once, a boy actually really mattered to me and I was so scared of losing that.
All of this was buzzing through my head after that Saturday. Before I knew it, it was monday. It was the day of Glee auditions.
I nailed my audition and so did Johnny, even though we never really got around to practicing his song. We both got a callback for Glee, we both went to look if we had gotten it at the same time and we were both so happy that we hugged quickly. Miss Madeline spotted this, and it would not have been much if she had not seen the way I was looking at him the previous week.
Once Johnny had gone away, she grabbed my arm and dragged me to the chorus room.
"Ok Alex, I know" Miss Madeline said flatly.
"Huh?" I said, trying to play dumb.
"I know you like that boy, a lot. Do not play dumb, I've already been through highschool so I've seen and done every trick in the book. I'm just making sure you know that it's probably not going to go anywhere Alex, he is as far as I know, straight correct?" Miss Madeline
"Well that's what I thought at first. Then he invited me over so we could work on his song for his audition and work out a little. I got there Saturday, we worked out a little. Then he asked me to spot him while he was bench pressing, and we just both looked eachother straight in the eye the entire time. Then I just went for it, I had him put the barbell back up, and I kissed him. Miss Madeline, the amazing thing is, he kissed me back. It was phenominal. We talked afterwards he says he is pretty sure he is gay because he's never felt anything like that with a girl. He also says he wants to keep hanging out, and I guess you could call it dating. But he doesn't want to tell anyone about it...but it does make sense considering no one comes out after about two days of knowing they are gay." I said with very few breaths.
"Oh, dear. That was quite a lot. So I guess maybe you are not being quite as silly as I thought you were. But still Alex you should be careful, I'd hate to see you get hurt. You're an awesome and talented kid. Just don't let it get out of hand OK? Oh also, we did NOT have this conversation, teacher's aren't really supposed to get into the student's business unless a student comes to them with a problem." Miss Madeline said.
"I'm trying to be careful, I really like him. And it kind of freaks me out for some reason, so I'm trying to be as careful as possible. And your secret is safe with me." I said half smiling. It was nice to know my teacher cared so much, it made her feel more like a friend that just happened to teach me about how to use my voice. It was very comforting.
The next day at callbacks Miss Madeline had alittle surprise for all of us.
"Ok, so I've decided that because if you get into Glee club you are going to have to work together so much, that the best way to showcase your talent for these callbacks are duets. You all have a week to find your partners, your duets, and rehearse them. The duets do not have to be a traditional duet, you can arrange a favorite piece of music into a duet if you wish. I just want to see what you all can do while having to make it work with another person. Go out and have fun with it! I'll se you all in a week!" Miss Madeline told all the Glee callbacks.
Durign this both Johnny and I looked at eachother and at the same time we mouthed to eachother "We have to do Queen." After Miss Madeline adressed us I asked him,
"but which songs? We've used some of the better ones already. Bicycle won't work. I like Fat Bottom Girls, but I don't think that will go over great." I said, scratching my head.
"What about Somebody to Love?" Johnny said.
"That, is, PERFECT!" I said, "I'll find the sheet music tonight and how about we get started with rehearsing it tomorrow at your house?"
"Sounds like a plan" Johnny said.
I was quite excited by the fact that Johnny suggested Somebody to Love because it was actually the first one I thought of for us to sing. I did not suggest it because I did not want to make Johnny think I wanted to broadcast what happened on Saturday to all the Glee callbacks, even though Somebody to Love probably only meant anything to us, or maybe just me.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
What Came to Be...Part 3
"So where do we go from here bro?" Johnny said looking like a sweaty lost puppy.
"I have no idea, this is the first time I've ever made out with a straight boy...this is kind of uncharted territory for me. Not to say I haven't been here in my mind, but ya know..." I said.
"Well I don't really know that much man, I'm kind of hoping for you to be my guide here. 'Cause while you may be missing a piece of you're map, I was just handed a blank piece of paper while a dude said 'go ahead, you draw it'" Johnny said, sounding like a Bro-losopher.
I had to be strong for him. I knew I had to. It was not like he was comepletely without and idea of what was going on, but other than realizing that he may in fact like boys I could tell from the look in his eyes he was as lost as Hansel and Grettel as they expediantly approached an ominous gingerbread house.
I was determined to be his breadcrumbs.
And yes I do know how corny I am sounding, but bare with me, I really fell for this guy, and it all eventually has a point. I swear I do.
So acting as our compass I said, "Well we can't just sit here in our sweat, I need a shower desparately, and so do you."
Johnny raised his eyebrow and gave a smirk at me like he knew what I was saying.
"Haha, yeah, no. Johnny believe me I think you're cute but..."
He gave me another knowing look.
"Ok I think you're godly, but this is beside the point, no. I did not mean shower together. What kind of guy do you think I am? I have class, I don't even usually hook up like we just did. I'm a classy gay, I usually take my fellas out on a date. Anyhow what I was leading to is how about we get clean and then we just talk? I can't concentrate when I'm sweaty." I said, keeping my libido in check as Johnny continued to give me that look.
"Oh fine, it's not like my parents are home, but since that's the way you want it..." he said trailing off.
"Yup" I said feeling quite like that mule people so often describe in situations like that.
"You're one stubborn dude ya know that?" Johnny said still with a smile.
"Your point?" I said smiling back, he had broken me. That smile could warm the deepest permafrost of ym emotions into hot chocolate with pink heart marshmallows in it.
"Just go and get clean before I change my mind and do something really stupid"
"Alright man." Johnny said while walking away in such a way that was simply divine.
I waited for ten minutes and then went in to the house to see if he was done. He was waiting by the bathroom, in a towel, and nothing more.
"I tried to make it quick so you had some hot water for yourself" Johnny said giving me that same smirk that so clearly said "Oh I got you, I got you good."
And then that's when it occured to me, I had been warned about that smile before, not specifically his, but that kind of smile.
From what my older friend Harry had told me a smile from a guy like Johnny (we were not talking about Johnny when we had this discussion, but it still applies) meant one of two things
1. This boy may be realizing that he is in love with you
2.This boy is playing you like a cheap fiddle
I mulled that over while I cleaned up. I was afraid that because it was reality and not some cheesy after school special, that it would unfortunately choice number two. I prayed to my non-existent god that it was choice number one.
I got out of the shower, I realized I had no clean clothes, so I adorned a towel.
Johnny was waiting for me, in a hoodie and jeans, with clothes that looked as if they would fit me perfectly. He was giving me that smile again and I knew that choice number one was behind that beautiful smile.
"I thought maybe you'd like these..." He said a little timidly. I could not quite figure out why until I had realized I was in a towel, and nothing else. I could not get him, he seemed so confident in himself, but when I was shirtless and wet he was melted butter.
"Thank you." was all I could say. I got my clothes on, stole some hair gel and quickly styled my hair.
He just smiled at me.
"I look pretty damn good in your clothes right?" I said, it felt almost like his confidence had jumped on to me. I grabbed his hand and I had him bring me to his room. His room was very him, pristine with so much more than surface value. He had an obscene amount of amazing books lining his shelves. Most notably every book and graphic novel by Neil Gaiman, my absolute favorite author. Then there the mementos he had, everything from kindergarten drawings to sculptures made in our school's sculpture class. All of the items I saw were pristine
I asked Johnny what was with all of the knick knacks and he said,
"I like to take good care of my best memories, for those incredibly sucky days, ya know? The way I figure is if you can find a way to smile anytime, you're set for life."
"I totally get that, that's really smart or maybe insightful, not sure which one." I said. He was so much more than a pretty face, he really had some depth to him.
"Anyhow, we need to figure us out before we talk of anything out."
"Agreed"
"Alright then. First of all my position on this is that I am very excited by the fact that you liked kissing me, but I am extremely apprehensive because I believed that you were straight up until about twenty minutes ago"
"I get that."
"Good. I'm also apprehensive because you are cute, really really cute, and I feel myself falling, but I am holding back because we still haven't figured out what has happened yet."
"Well to help clarify. You kissed me, I liked it and kissed you back. I felt something I am not anywhere near familiar with that I liked, a lot. Then I saw you shirtless and I really wished I could have convinced you to that mutual shower Also as I talk to you more, I really enjoy you being with me in any way shape or form."
"I uh, uhm...thank you" I said blushing.
"But here is the thing, despite this, I am scared shitless. I'd never really thought about who I liked to kiss up to this point. I kind of just thought that the girls I kissed weren't that good or that attractive to me, or something. That kiss definitely had something I'd been looking for...but this is not the point I am trying to make. What I'm trying to say is that up until about thirty minutes ago, I was pretty sure I was straight as well. My friends and family are also quite convinced of this as well."
"oh..."
"No no no, you didn't let me finish. I'm not ready to come out yet. It's too early. You and I both know it. I want to keep this going. I really hate to keep this a secret because I know it's gonna suck for you, but once I've figured things out it won't have to be secret anymore." Johnny sad looking very tired.
"It's OK Johnny, I understand. Coming out was one of the single scariest things I've ever done. I get where you're coming from, hell I've been there, in on way or another." I said. I was a little disappointed, but none the less he still wanted to keep things going, and at the time, that was the world to me.
"Really? You're not mad or anything?" He asked.
"God no. Are you kidding me? I kissed a straight guy. I expected cries of 'get off me queer!' or something equally vulgar."
"I've never said anything like that. Shit like that makes me go insane. I guess that makes more sense now. Seriously, you're not mad?"
"How the hell could I be mad at you, you're too cute" I said trying to give my own version of Johnny's smirk.
He just blushed.
I then looked at my phone and noticed I had three missed calls, all from my parents.
"Shit, my parents called me, a lot. Can I get a ride home?" I asked.
"Of course. But first, can I get another kiss? I feel like the more I get of those, the clearer this whole thing will be to me." He said with that smirk that was beginning to get oh so familiar.
I dove at him and gave him the biggest wettest kiss anyone has ever give. this time he did not taste like sweat. This time was even better.
"Jesus H Christ you're good at that. How am I supposed to sleep on this bed now? All I'm gonna think about when I'm on it now is you." He said.
"amlbhasoiahgkmvbpah" was something close to what I said. His flattery was getting to me. I had never met a boy who spoke his mind so well and was so charming.
He raised his eyebrow at me.
"Just take me home." I said with an embarrassed smile.
"I have no idea, this is the first time I've ever made out with a straight boy...this is kind of uncharted territory for me. Not to say I haven't been here in my mind, but ya know..." I said.
"Well I don't really know that much man, I'm kind of hoping for you to be my guide here. 'Cause while you may be missing a piece of you're map, I was just handed a blank piece of paper while a dude said 'go ahead, you draw it'" Johnny said, sounding like a Bro-losopher.
I had to be strong for him. I knew I had to. It was not like he was comepletely without and idea of what was going on, but other than realizing that he may in fact like boys I could tell from the look in his eyes he was as lost as Hansel and Grettel as they expediantly approached an ominous gingerbread house.
I was determined to be his breadcrumbs.
And yes I do know how corny I am sounding, but bare with me, I really fell for this guy, and it all eventually has a point. I swear I do.
So acting as our compass I said, "Well we can't just sit here in our sweat, I need a shower desparately, and so do you."
Johnny raised his eyebrow and gave a smirk at me like he knew what I was saying.
"Haha, yeah, no. Johnny believe me I think you're cute but..."
He gave me another knowing look.
"Ok I think you're godly, but this is beside the point, no. I did not mean shower together. What kind of guy do you think I am? I have class, I don't even usually hook up like we just did. I'm a classy gay, I usually take my fellas out on a date. Anyhow what I was leading to is how about we get clean and then we just talk? I can't concentrate when I'm sweaty." I said, keeping my libido in check as Johnny continued to give me that look.
"Oh fine, it's not like my parents are home, but since that's the way you want it..." he said trailing off.
"Yup" I said feeling quite like that mule people so often describe in situations like that.
"You're one stubborn dude ya know that?" Johnny said still with a smile.
"Your point?" I said smiling back, he had broken me. That smile could warm the deepest permafrost of ym emotions into hot chocolate with pink heart marshmallows in it.
"Just go and get clean before I change my mind and do something really stupid"
"Alright man." Johnny said while walking away in such a way that was simply divine.
I waited for ten minutes and then went in to the house to see if he was done. He was waiting by the bathroom, in a towel, and nothing more.
"I tried to make it quick so you had some hot water for yourself" Johnny said giving me that same smirk that so clearly said "Oh I got you, I got you good."
And then that's when it occured to me, I had been warned about that smile before, not specifically his, but that kind of smile.
From what my older friend Harry had told me a smile from a guy like Johnny (we were not talking about Johnny when we had this discussion, but it still applies) meant one of two things
1. This boy may be realizing that he is in love with you
2.This boy is playing you like a cheap fiddle
I mulled that over while I cleaned up. I was afraid that because it was reality and not some cheesy after school special, that it would unfortunately choice number two. I prayed to my non-existent god that it was choice number one.
I got out of the shower, I realized I had no clean clothes, so I adorned a towel.
Johnny was waiting for me, in a hoodie and jeans, with clothes that looked as if they would fit me perfectly. He was giving me that smile again and I knew that choice number one was behind that beautiful smile.
"I thought maybe you'd like these..." He said a little timidly. I could not quite figure out why until I had realized I was in a towel, and nothing else. I could not get him, he seemed so confident in himself, but when I was shirtless and wet he was melted butter.
"Thank you." was all I could say. I got my clothes on, stole some hair gel and quickly styled my hair.
He just smiled at me.
"I look pretty damn good in your clothes right?" I said, it felt almost like his confidence had jumped on to me. I grabbed his hand and I had him bring me to his room. His room was very him, pristine with so much more than surface value. He had an obscene amount of amazing books lining his shelves. Most notably every book and graphic novel by Neil Gaiman, my absolute favorite author. Then there the mementos he had, everything from kindergarten drawings to sculptures made in our school's sculpture class. All of the items I saw were pristine
I asked Johnny what was with all of the knick knacks and he said,
"I like to take good care of my best memories, for those incredibly sucky days, ya know? The way I figure is if you can find a way to smile anytime, you're set for life."
"I totally get that, that's really smart or maybe insightful, not sure which one." I said. He was so much more than a pretty face, he really had some depth to him.
"Anyhow, we need to figure us out before we talk of anything out."
"Agreed"
"Alright then. First of all my position on this is that I am very excited by the fact that you liked kissing me, but I am extremely apprehensive because I believed that you were straight up until about twenty minutes ago"
"I get that."
"Good. I'm also apprehensive because you are cute, really really cute, and I feel myself falling, but I am holding back because we still haven't figured out what has happened yet."
"Well to help clarify. You kissed me, I liked it and kissed you back. I felt something I am not anywhere near familiar with that I liked, a lot. Then I saw you shirtless and I really wished I could have convinced you to that mutual shower Also as I talk to you more, I really enjoy you being with me in any way shape or form."
"I uh, uhm...thank you" I said blushing.
"But here is the thing, despite this, I am scared shitless. I'd never really thought about who I liked to kiss up to this point. I kind of just thought that the girls I kissed weren't that good or that attractive to me, or something. That kiss definitely had something I'd been looking for...but this is not the point I am trying to make. What I'm trying to say is that up until about thirty minutes ago, I was pretty sure I was straight as well. My friends and family are also quite convinced of this as well."
"oh..."
"No no no, you didn't let me finish. I'm not ready to come out yet. It's too early. You and I both know it. I want to keep this going. I really hate to keep this a secret because I know it's gonna suck for you, but once I've figured things out it won't have to be secret anymore." Johnny sad looking very tired.
"It's OK Johnny, I understand. Coming out was one of the single scariest things I've ever done. I get where you're coming from, hell I've been there, in on way or another." I said. I was a little disappointed, but none the less he still wanted to keep things going, and at the time, that was the world to me.
"Really? You're not mad or anything?" He asked.
"God no. Are you kidding me? I kissed a straight guy. I expected cries of 'get off me queer!' or something equally vulgar."
"I've never said anything like that. Shit like that makes me go insane. I guess that makes more sense now. Seriously, you're not mad?"
"How the hell could I be mad at you, you're too cute" I said trying to give my own version of Johnny's smirk.
He just blushed.
I then looked at my phone and noticed I had three missed calls, all from my parents.
"Shit, my parents called me, a lot. Can I get a ride home?" I asked.
"Of course. But first, can I get another kiss? I feel like the more I get of those, the clearer this whole thing will be to me." He said with that smirk that was beginning to get oh so familiar.
I dove at him and gave him the biggest wettest kiss anyone has ever give. this time he did not taste like sweat. This time was even better.
"Jesus H Christ you're good at that. How am I supposed to sleep on this bed now? All I'm gonna think about when I'm on it now is you." He said.
"amlbhasoiahgkmvbpah" was something close to what I said. His flattery was getting to me. I had never met a boy who spoke his mind so well and was so charming.
He raised his eyebrow at me.
"Just take me home." I said with an embarrassed smile.
The Kiss Dicitionary
Kiss (v.)-to touch or caress with the lips
now this is a fine and dandy explanation for my computer to understand, but we all know that the action of a kiss can mean so many different things
now this is a fine and dandy explanation for my computer to understand, but we all know that the action of a kiss can mean so many different things
- I love you
- I'm sorry
- I want you so bad right now
- You are my world
- It's OK
- You're acting really stupid, but I guess that's fine with me
- Took you long enough
- I forgive you
- Lets just f*** and get over it
- I missed you
- I've been waiting for this so long
- You mean so much to me
- You are too funny sometimes
- Shut up
I just that would be a fun thing to post as an interlude between the daring romance, "What Came to Be..."
haha I flatter myself, but yeah, I shall be posting part 3 most likely tonight, or if I actually do more homework, tomorrow, so stay tuned folks!
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